The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
This is my first time here, so please bare with me. My common law husband is addicted to pain killers for a little more than 3 yrs now. Finally he went to rehab, a 21 day program at an amazing house.He came out positive and seemed to have a new lease on life. He's been home a week and as been acting like he has been taking pills again.I confronted him on this and he is now angry with me for accusing him and now tells me how unsupportive i am being. He said while he was in rehab i was a great support and now that hes home I just natter and nit pick at him. Im so lost and confused. I know the signs of him being on pills and they are all there. should I just leave it be if he take pills he takes pills or do i confront him? I dont know what to do anymore. I love this man so much and I hate seeing him killing himself and I hate being lied to so much. it breaks my heart more than he'll ever know. Any advice would be greatly apprecaited
Welcome to MIP.....please try and take the focus off the addict and keep it on you. I would say not to confront him anymore. You are right...an addict is going to do what an addict is going to do.
Something I always remember hearing in these rooms is "never ask a question you already know the answer to". Your intuition is probably right and your AH is feeling a lot of guilt. Bringing this up over and over only packs on more guilt because his disease will make him lie every time. I know you love your AH but it is not enough for him to quit. Leave him alone and do whatever it is you need to do for YOU to not obsess over it. I know....easier said then done and it doesn't happen right away, Get yourself some Alanon literature and start reading about this disease and how it makes us sick too.
Probabaly the best book for you to start with is "Getting them Sober"
Welcome to Miracles in progress I hear your pain and have been where you are so I do understand. It is so important to realize that you are not alone. Addiction is a dreadful disease over which we who live/love the addict are powerless.
Living with the fear, confusion and anger we develop coping tools that hurt us and keep us in a dark fearful place. I urge you to check out alanon or naranon face to face meetings in your community These meetings help to break the isolation of addiction and offer new and powerful tools to live by.
Please keep coming back here and sharing there is HOPE
Thank you all so much. I plan on going to an al anon meeting monday. Im nervous about it....extrememly nervous. As for letting him be, I want to but its so hard. Today i woke up to my gas stove on and something in the oven. He was lying in bed. These are the things that scare me. We have 5 kids 4 that live with us. Im getting used to the fact that a good nights sleep is not possible as long as hes like this. Im constantly watching him. I have to follow him around and clean up. (take the dish soap out of the fridge, the dish with food on it out of a garbage bag thats on my table, wipe toothpaste off my mirror etc.) We've been together for 3 years. he got addicted to pain killers 3 months after we started dating. Its just getting worse and worse. he blacks out and doesnt remember things. what a roller coaster. we talked last night and he still denies being on anything, but im not stupid. I think thats one of the things that really anger me is, he must thing im one of the stupidest people he knows. to stare me in the eye and lie to me over and over again. then wants me to trust him......i dont think so! ugh this is all so frustrating. Well im rambling. thanks for listening and responding. Im going toget that book. I need some change in my life and if its not going to be him it has to be me. God Bless
