Hello,

It's been a while since I have made a post. I have alot of frustration pent up that I need to get off my chest. So here I go...

My ABF finally got fired from his job. My 2 year old was sick and so I stayed home with her from work. He decided not to go in either. Convenient excuse for him to get out of work saying his daughter was sick. He has been calling in like crazy for months now and I was wondering if he was ever going to get fired and hit bottom. It finally happened but he didn't tell me that day. Oh no he told me a week later when I went to take my daughter to the doctor. Telling me I shouldn't take her in because she's fine and doesn't need to see a doctor when the nurse is telling me to take her in because the night before she had a temperature of 103. He finally blurts it out that she has no insurance because his boss fired him that day he stayed home with her. Is that really the day you lost your job? For all I know he could have been without a job for a while now.

His grandfather had given him and his brother a gift when they were younger. A very generous gift of alot of money (I do not feel comfortable saying how much). It was nice to have on hand to help out with bills and food and other things but it also was keeping his disease alive. So once he lost his job, all of a sudden I'm finding out all the other money is gone too. We struggled for a while. No internet, no cable. He was pawning things right and left so we could have money. I'm not going to lie, it was bittersweet. It was nice seeing him actually struggle for money and not being able to drink much.

He was hitting bottom. It was finally happening. The realization of what alcohol is doing to his life. We were trying to make it on one income (mine) which is not nearly enough to pay for bills and all the other expenses that come with a 3 person household.

It eventually got to a point where we were struggling so bad that something had to change. He hadn't told his parents or anyone about him losing his job. He decided to ask his parents for a loan of 2000 dollars and then he was going to ask his grandfather for a 5000 dollar loan. How he was going to pay all this back? I have no idea. I tried to stay out of it. I wanted to tell his parents because I thought they should know the truth but then he started telling me that if his mom knew the truth, she wouldn't give us any money and she would demand that all 3 of us along with our 3 cats move in with her and his dad. She's a very manipulative woman who always gets her away. I do not have the best relationship with her because she frustrates me on how she has handled the situation with her son and so much more. In no way am I living with his parents.

Struggeling with this decision on whether to tell her nor not tell them, I decide not to thinking it was not my place to get involved and cause problems between parents and son. She loans him the money he asked for but finds out eventually that he has no job. She tells him that there will be no more loans and I apologized to her for not telling her the truth. Then all of a sudden things are looking extremely good for his disease to survive. I come home to find out that he has received a check in the mail from his grandfather of 15 grand. I can not freaking believe it. I decided this time, I will do the right thing and say something to his mom. Tell her look he's taking advantage of your father with this loan. Her response is that she knew about it and that it is a generous gift he gives all the grandchildren once they are out of college. I am baffled....

She had a chance to tell her father that her son is without a job and is drinking himself crazy sitting at home doing absolutely nothing but she chooses not to because she's so ashamed to admit this to her father. So he gets the money and grandpa thinks he did a nice gesture to help his grandson "secure a more comfortable future for his family by having some more money". Thats the bs he fed him when he asked him for the money.

So if you haven't guessed it...is he looking for jobs? absolutely not. Sitting at home sleeping in late, drinking, sleeping off hangovers. He has been smoking marijuana lately because he thinks it helps him with the drinking so can he pass a drug test? No. He failed 2 drug tests early on after he lost his job. Does that stop him from smoking? No.

I come home after a long day of work with my 2 year old and he's sitting all smug and shiny with his generous gift from his grandfather. He actually said we should move into another apartment and he will find a job later. I told him absolutely not. I am not moving anywhere with you until you start working. He is doing nothing with his life.

I am just so fed up beyond words. He was in rock bottom and now he's not. I blamed myself at first but then I realized after his mom's response, it wouldn't have matter if I had told her because she does not have any plans to tell his grandfather about his life going down hill because she cares too much about what he would think.

I told him he should take the money and go check himself into rehab with it. He's not doing anything with his life. What do you have to lose?

Thanks for letting me vent.