The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
This episode started 2-3wks. ago, my 17y.o. grandson told me he was moving 41/2 miles away with his step dad and his 7y.o. sis. For a moment I got involved, expressing my feelings against it, but realized it was none of my business, but I went into the fear mode, a large city, gangs, HS dropout etc.
A few days ago I asked my a/a dtr. if she was going to let him go she said she wasn't worried about it because he would probably change his mind about it. He called me yesterday to ask me to give his mom a ride to school today , ( school started here today) to sign his transfer papers, (school starts in Sept. where he is going) I told my dtr. she would need to find her own ride, she said "OK" I felt so good about setting boundary's, not being her taxi after losing the last car I practically gave her.
Well, this am my grandson just called, he is at school, for a moment I was happy, thinking he had changed his mind, but he asked me if I would go get his mom and bring her to school to transfer him, I said "no" I had talked to his mom about it, he was upset.
I'm having a hard time not getting in my judgemental mode with my dtr. letting her son go to a large city with his step father, I can see why my grandson would want to get away from her madness and dysfunction, especially since she recently let her half sis. and her 4yo dtr. move into her 2br apt. with my dtr. dog and unemployed bf. Bye the way, in the past, she's had serious hate for this half sis. I'm so confused.
Gettingitright!
__________________
Just go a step at a time, one day at a time. And you'll find a rich, thankful life you never thought you could afford.--A Rogers
I know its difficult to see our loved ones making mistakes. I have a daughter, although she is not an Alcoholic, she has her own issues.
I try and apply Alanon in most situations, to not react and detach. They are going to do what there going to do no matter what we say. When Im really upset with my daughter, I button it up and really detach, she's figured it out and usually will open up for discussion.
Our best approach as family is hands off, we have to trust our HP and theirs.
