The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
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information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
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How do you successfully have a relationship with a dysfunctional family (parents/siblings)? I want to have a relationship with them but they seem to want to enmesh with me.
I have gotten really healthy from creating time and distance and I have gotten pretty strong by keeping my distance. Now that we are back in contact - my mom wants to text
me every day (saying how much she loves me ect) and see me a lot. I am so worried that I am going to lose myself again. I want to have boundaries and a sense of self. Alanon has given me a sense
of self and I don't want to lose it. I'm starting the steps with a sponsor next month. I also want my family in my life but it is hard when they know no boundaries. Any ES and H about this kind of situation ofyou have ever been or are in it?
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It is very difficult to have a pity party when I am celebrating all the gratitude I have in my life!
It will aither work out, . . . or, . . . It will work out."
Oh my I am having the exact same issue! I wish I could say what the right thing to do with. My family of origin has cut me off for 3 weeks now, all because I am not doing exactly what they want me to do when they want me to do it. Standing up to a family that one always relied on for comfort and support is tough. Trying to set boundaries in my case hasn't worked to well. They don't know boundaries, and it seems they would rather have nothing to do with me than respect them. It is good that your are speaking to a sponsor. A person who is objective, doesn't know them and can give you sensible direction. I don't have a sponsor, but I have a very close friend who, like me, has struggled with an alcoholic marriage. I'm seeing her tomorrow and hope that I can gain some perspective.
I'm going to do some reading in C2C and see if there are some wise words addressing this (I'm sure there are) :) wishiing you much support!!
Boundaries are about you and for you . You decide when and where to see your family . Regardless of how often they want to see you , you have a right to a life of your own no explanations needed , learning that the word NO can be a complete sentence takes time . Keep going to your meetings keep the focus on your own needs and your going to be just fine . Louise
