The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
The more I listen to people and read stories, the more I wonder if it is possible for alcoholics to recover? I think I know of one happy ending and it scares me. I know that my happiness is my responsibility but I am really worried that rehab doesn't seem to have a very good success rate for the alcoholics...
About 3/4ths of the people I know in AA have been to rehab. That's hundreds and hundreds of people. It wasn't rehab that did it though...that was just the start. Committing to AA and building an ongoing program of recovery is where you start seeing success.
Anyone can get sober if they want it bad enough. Maybe an open AA meeting would give you some hope there. You will at least see how it works but that won't make your AH grasp it if he's not totally ready, willing, and openminded.
My gut feeling says this is his time... they way he has embraced the program and found the spiritual anchor that he has been searching for his whole life is an excellent sign to me. I just get despondent when I hear so many unhappy endings.
There are plenty of double winners here in Alanon. That is members who belong to both AA and Alanon.
I seem to see that many of them have trancended the interest in alcohol a long time ago. Maybe they have moved toward discovering what happened to them early in life that helped get them to AA. A childhood under the influence of substance abusers can need a lot of work to turn around.
When all interest in Alcohol is gone all that may be left is the remorse which can be very hard to overcome. The A and the Alanon both suffer. They have the experence of both sides. This in a way can be used to hold someone back twice as much or help them progress twice as much.
Maybe it is not mentioned too often to be focused on Alanon. Frankly it can also be avoided to not be judged. Judging the wisdom of a strongly recovering double winner is in my experience short sighted. They know where to keep their recovery focused.
I thought the last one was my ex's last time. He was homeless for awhile, he was uspet that everyone was turning their backs on him and he knew he was going to lose me. Alas it was not. He went to a 6 month rehab years ago and was sober for almost 3 years. Then after his first relapse he did another 2 month rehab and has had 2 more relapses since.
I have family members who have been sober dozens of years, none because of rehab, most because they hit bottom and couldn't imagine drinking anymore and got themselves to AA for life.
I have an uncle who died from alcohol in his 60's. He was in multiple rehabs. He never could stop.
I think it's just an individual thing. I've heard they don't stop until the pain of drinking is worse than the pain of not drinking. I think that makes a lot of sense.
My daughters X husband is a recovering alcoholic, 16 years sober. He has been committed to his program. Dont know if he has had any slips, but its possible. Ive always seen him sober.
Then I know people who are in AA that were hard core drug addicts, that have switched to wine and they think they are working a program.
All I know I know from my own experiences and my XA drank more than he was ever sober and he goes to AA now for 5 years and is somewhat sober, maybe some A's thats enough for them. Isnt it up to them.
My X has been to Rehab many times, I do know that it helps to give them a break from the drinking which is a good thing. Any breaks from drinking in my mind is good. Even if its for awhile.
All I know is you cant sit around wondering if they are going to relapse, I think there are more interesting things to do with our time here on earth. Alcoholism bored me. I didnt even want to relate to it, talk about it or breath it.
I agree with what pinkchip shared. My husband went through 3 rehabs within a 3-year period. The third one seems to have helped him accept that AA is the way to go.
He's been sober for a little over 14 months. He attends about 4 to 5 meetings a week, sometimes 7 (if he feels the need). In addition, he is part of a home book study group; it's a group of AA male members who get together over each others' homes to read and discuss the big book and to share whatever is on their minds. He loves it.
For years, he was against AA. Thought the members were a bunch of losers (his words). He laughs now about how he thought back then.
I attend meetings with him from time to time. I see a lot of success stories, as well as though who still struggle.
If the stories bother you, don't listen to them. Take it day by day. Take care of what you can: you
__________________
You have to go through the darkness to truly know the light. Lama Surya Das
Resentment is like taking poison & waiting for the other person to die. Malachy McCourt
Yes, there are success stories. My A has never been to rehab and I don't know if he ever will. But I have two friends that have been sober for years, one for 16 years, the other for 20+ years. One still attends AA, one does not. Each one went through rehab at least three times before it worked for them. Or as pinkchip said, before they were ready to commit to recovery. As someone on here once told me, as long as they (A) are breathing, there's hope.
