The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Now that my AH has moved back to live with her AFather (she was living out of state for the last 18 months), I am really struggling with setting boundaries with her. On the advice on my sponsor, last night I went to my first Al-Anon meeting specifically for parents. I've been in Al-Anon for over 3 years, but went to meetings to get support in regards to my soon-to-be AH. I shared my story about her telling me (and not even asking me) that she wants to borrow my car tomorrow so that she can do some job hunting. All I could think to say to her was, "No, I need my car for work and I'm also going to a doctor's appointment." The first statement is true, second statement is not- she really caught me off guard. I don't quite trust her right now, as I know that she is still drinking. At the end of the meeting, one kind member came up to me and said, "The word 'no' is a complete statement when dealing with our alcoholic offspring. There's no need to say anything further." Such a simple piece of advice, but it was exactly what I needed to hear last night. So glad I went to that meeting. I feel like I'm starting all over again in Al-Anon now that my daugther is again another A to deal with in my life.
As hard as dealing with an A-spouse has been, I really feel for people that are dealing with alcoholic children. Must be SO hard! Sending cyber support. :)
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"Just being there for someone can sometimes bring hope when all seems hopeless." - Dave G Llewellyn
