The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
While things have improved dramatically at home, I am currently struggling with a very unsatisfying work life at the moment. I came to the realization years ago that my career is not really something that I enjoy and not something that I was put on this earth to do. But, I'm 20 years in and as much as I dislike my job at the moment, it has provided for me and my family for many years and is our sole source of income. So, I endure. But I'm really unhappy at my job.
I've been praying regularly to God--not demanding anything, but just expressing to Him my unhappiness in my work situation, and hoping for a resolution. I was actually hoping to be let go, as crazy as that sounds. My employer has a very generous severance package and I know I'd be ok for a year or so. It's become apparent in the last week or so that I won't be let go anytime soon. In fact, it seems that the spotlight is shining on me more, and I'm finding that to be really distressing. There are emotionally unbalanced people at work who have very high expectations of me; meanwhile, it's all I can do to sit here everyday and try and find the motivation to accomplish anything.
In the last 24 hours, I've felt frustration in how things are going. Basically, I'm childishly angry that God isn't giving me what I want. Writing that makes me realize what a joke that is. God has provided for me for my entire life. And I know that God has heard my prayers, and will answer them when the time is right for me. He's done it in the past and he will do it again. I think back to the dark days with my wife, and how frightening those times were. And today, it is so clear that God heard those prayers that I prayed back then, and he has answered them. My wife has found sobriety and is thriving.
This experience is teaching me that it is all about faith, and believing that God will indeed provide for you. Prayer without faith is a useless exercise, and bound to lead to the frustration I have felt in recent days. As for the emotionally unbalanced people at work, I can't control them, and all I can do is try my best.
When I really let go and let God and every once in a while I actually do get it and I have a mini break through on that level, it's hard not to have the most unrealistic expectation of God/Hp in terms of ok .. this is what I want you do to and by golly let it be on my timing not yours. I'm really struggling with that one at the moment. There things I want and I know God wants them for me to .. it's the whole sitting back and waiting. PLUS God's plan is soooo much better than mine is and I really really have to remember that one. Just for today I can be extremely grateful for exactly where I am at as hard as the situation is at the moment, it's not a bad place to be, it means I have to adjust my attitude. My expectations of God only lead to resentments of the "why" questions. Why not sooner, why not now, why not .. fill in the blank.
Thanks for the share because it's kicked me in the butt as far as letting go of expectations in all areas of my life on a daily basis not just one.
I have mentioned Andy Andrews often, while it is not CAL lit, he's a wonderful speaker as well as author. If anyone has the opportunity to read the Travelers Gift I really highly recommend it. There are other books as well this was his first and what he had to go through he persisted without exception it is life changing to realize what he went through for his dreams to come true and it was def in God's timing not his.
Hugs P :)
__________________
Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole woman.- Maya Angelo
God has provided for me for my entire life. And I know that God has heard my prayers, and will answer them when the time is right for me. He's done it in the past and he will do it again. I think back to the dark days with my wife, and how frightening those times were. And today, it is so clear that God heard those prayers that I prayed back then, and he has answered them. My wife has found sobriety and is thriving.
This experience is teaching me that it is all about faith, and believing that God will indeed provide for you. Prayer without faith is a useless exercise, and bound to lead to the frustration I have felt in recent days. As for the emotionally unbalanced people at work, I can't control them, and all I can do is try my best.
Dear usedtobe
What powerful statement of Clarity,Wisdom and Faith . I agree completely . I too had many unstable people at work and HP did show me "the Way, A gratitude list each morning along with my 3rd Step prayer truly helped.
Keep praying, trusting and showing up More will be revealed.
That is a tough one that I have had to deal with a lot. I deal with it with lots of help. Detachment helps. Making plan be helps too.
I think the issue is that doing a job search is another stress on top of the stress of dealing with a difficult job.
I have had plenty of tantrums with my higher power. I would expect that. I have had to come to terms with accepting my life as it is and one way I do that is to write the gratitude list every day. I don't want to of course but I have a practice of writing to another person so that's a prompt for it. I have found that helps a lot.
