not knowing how to handle this sit. - Al-Anon Family Group

Bettina · ~*Service Worker*~

not knowing how to handle this sit.

silent · Veteran Member

ive been obsessing over and over on how i can tell my a/boyfriend that he needs to get him an apartment of his own thatr i really truely need my space back ,sounds horrible dont it,after allowing him back in my door after all the fuss of getting him out of my life the last times.but im starting to stress over this sit,he drinks everynight after work which i now know and always did that i couldnt stand the smell of it much less the changed personality it gives him and i cant even watch my own tv with out him wanting to watch things of his likeings that i dont even want on my tv.its getting way to stressful here ,he is like scared im gonna kick him out agin ,which i have it on my mind for sure ,i just dont know how to go about it in a nice way.he has been really nice here.but its just not for me,im needing to get to myself for sure and get to know me and what i want ive been in relationships back to back,i just dont want it to get ugly when i lower the bomb on him.TO GET HIS OWN PLACE for petes sake,any esh here on what to do would be sooo welcomed and appriciated.thank you agin for listening and sorry for waiting sooo long about posting agin....................hugs-silent

Jerry F · ~*Service Worker*~

When it came for me to do it I didn't know exactly how to and exactly how it would come out so I did it not exactly and it came out the same way. I got my own life and space back and thats exactly what I wanted.

Trust God then do the thing. Sounds like you've done it before...duplicate it. (((hugs))) smile

Debilyn · ~*Service Worker*~

Remember sweet one, that we cannot control anyone but ourselves. It just does not matter how or what you say. The message is the same.

be true to yourself first.

You want to be nice about it, so do. ex: A I care about you first off, but I care about me too. I need to live on my own. You could not bring him up, his drinking or anything. Just the fact you need time to yourself.

If he argues, repeat, I need time for myself. and repeat. I would write down the date you want him out by. He may want to stomp out, if he does it is up to you to say, thank you for giving me my space, get the keys if you can. If not get new locks on. Or change your doorknobs.

I don't believe it is necessary to give them any blame. He knows he drinks he knows it bothers you. Why do that? Say what you mean and don't be mean.

He is sick, he has enough on his plate.

Sending you hugs. Let us know how it goes. Such huge progress for you. He is fortunate to have your love. Right now that is not him living with you anyway, that is his disease using you and sucking you dry... love,debilyn

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