Okay I'm back and this is a "to do" list for me now.  I have and can and will continue to do these things and more and Jozie I'm grateful that you added the part about your Grams and loving her anyways.  learning to " Love Anyways" was a big project for me in early recovery and a female member gave me her definition one night after a meeting on love, "love is the complete and total acceptance of every other human being for exactly who they are". In the meeting she was talking about loving her alcoholic husband and in this definition it doesn't point out alcoholics at all.  Amazing who God puts in front of my desk.  I learned not too long ago more about love which is now a daily practice.  This lesson was between HP and myself alone and involved a true story about an Indonesian woman who raised a lion cub until he was so big she could no longer support him so she took him to the zoo for keeping.  Later on she was going into town and decided to stop by the zoo to see if they still had the lion and they did, he was sleeping in his cage when she got to the bars and said "hey lion".  As the video was playing the Lion stood up on his hind legs which made him much much bigger than she and he reach out side of the bars and grabbed around her body and pulled her to the bars.  My imagination told me that what would come next would be that he would maul her by again I was wrong.  He pulled her to him and rubbed his cheek against hers very tenderly.  "How amazing I thought"!! and my HP asked me what I saw to which I answered the absence of fear and then HP said...you're right "Love" and then HP left.  Love is the Absence of Fear and of course the opposite is also true.  I will give up fear number 11 on your list.

Thanks for this post.  I'm listening for other responses.

((((hugs))))