The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
My AH has been doing so well lately, but as I know this is cyclical and here we are again. He is agitated, upset, about nothing - about everything, it doesn't really matter anymore. Whether he has been drinking or not doesn't really matter either. I won't ask, I don't care. His moods wash over me at this point, I try hard not to react and get caught up in his drama. Easier said than done I know. I am really posting this to remind myself to go home tonight with my tool box full, ready to respond (or not respond) in the healhiest way I can manage. I make a choice every day to stay, but I will walk in the door tonight knowing I can change my mind tonight if I wish. So sad to think we keep coming two steps forward to go three back, I know this is the same story for many of us. Thank you all for listening - wish me luck.
Sending you lots of support tonight. You sound confident in knowing that it's all about choices. What are you choosing for YOU. You can change your mind at any time or choose a different path. And, yes, I completely understand because I'm doing the same thing with my AH.
One of the most difficult things to do is detach and not let other people in our enviornment affect us or our moods. Especially when its constant. Its something we have to master.
Buddhists have a quote " Dont let your mind master you, you be the master of your mind." It takes a lot of practice, but practice we must .
We have to even practice this in our everyday life , not in just dealing with the Alcoholic. I dont look at it as stepping back at all. This detaching and mastering is neccessary for our preservation in our everyday living. When you think about it, its very empowering.
I just changed my mind. I am not going home. He called me again and was yelling at me and I calmly said I wasn't coming home to a chaotic environment. He was not happy. He just texted me that he threw our computer into the street , I have not responded. Just confirms to me I am right in not going home. Could use some prayers tonight. Thanks everyone for your support.
Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole woman.- Maya Angelo
Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole woman.- Maya Angelo
