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I agree quitting smoking was the most difficult thing I have ever accomplished .Now that I am smoke free I do not dare to pick up a cigarette as I know I would be right back to 3 packs a day in no time
The Chantrix pill worked for me You are to take it for 1 week and smoke while taking it---- then after a week you are to stop smoking . That did not work for me and my doctor assured me that I would stop eventually and to continue taking the pill. It worked!!!! One morning I woke up and did not light a cigarette The next day I gave my 10 cartoons of cigarette away to the homeless and have been free for 3 years
Working the Steps 4-12 helped to free me from all the negative emotions and feelings that I had stuffed over the years
Please keep showing up You are worth it.
-- Edited by hotrod on Sunday 5th of August 2012 08:25:14 AM
I've been trying desperately to quit smoking. It's nurturing a state af shame and low self-esteem and leaves me without the ability to fend for myself in the right way with courage, so anyone who's looking for someone to manipulate comes straight to me which has left me with dozens of resentments. I can't sleep and am exhuasted all the time.
If I could just quit smoking that would be the appropriate starting point. Coffee too has to go. Last night I tried again but all these horrible feelings came up that I thought I had dealt with. Anger towards my aging parents who continue to try to keep me stuck in the scapegoat role with manipulation tactics of all kinds that I recreate with others in the world. So much anger for the damage and the destruction in my life which extendes to health issues and my having a horrible reputation and being completely isolated.
No matter how much hard work I do in the 12 steps, bringing all of this to God and also using my Will Power to try to quit smoking is not working. God has been asking me in prayer for months now to quit and I've made 3 attempts with the patch which lasted 24 hours but it gets harder each time, it seems. Maybe I haven't had enough pain?
Any idea as to how to deal with these awful emotions that cause me to give up doing good things for myself?
I've always heard that when changing things is hard, you don't have enough support. After all, we know how well alcoholics do trying to quit by "willpower" and not with the structure and support of AA. It stands to reason that other difficult habits would require support also. What that support would look like varies, I imagine. Al-Anon is certainly a big way to find the tools to deal with difficult emotions. Do you have a sponsor? Have you worked the steps? I don't know if there are 12-step or support groups that deal with quitting smoking, but I would think there must be. You deserve all the support you can get.
cigarettes are designed specifically so people have great difficulty quittting...it has nothing to do with willpower, and everything to do with biology...
quitting smoking was the hardest thing I have ever done...
some things that helped me: planning to quit -- telling people, knowing that for a week or so I would be really not myself and making support plans for that, and planning activities inconsistent with smoking (like going places where I couldn't smoke -- movies, etc doing things that i did not associate with smoking -- like bike riding)
I also had to give up things that I associated with smoking -- I had to change the way I drank my morning coffee (wooooo big trigger) and replace another activity for when I got really stressed (I made tea in a special teapot and then drank it mindfully -- kinda like the reward of that "wistful smoke")
planning makes all the difference in beating this monster addiction in your life...what are the times you LOVE smoking most? make a plan for them...what are some things that you could change up (triggers) in the early, most difficult weeks? I had to stop painting for a while...because I would always paint a little, and step back and look at what I had done and smoke...
You WILL feel really emotional, crazy and out of control for at least a week, but probably more. Docs can be tremendous help. It was 6 weeks before I really felt like myself again.
Each time you quit, journal -- because its all learning...each cigarette you don't smoke...well at the very least, saves money! Progress not perfection.
some more ideas others have used -- put your cig butts in a big pickle jar of water -- for 3 days...it's a nasty reminder...
calculate how much each cigarette costs...every time you want to smoke and don't, put that money in another pickle jar...then use the money for something to reward yourself...
Cigs are as hard to quit as heroin, and are no joke. cut yourself some slack...and you will whip this in time!
I started going to the gym regularly upon quitting smoking. As I started embracing fitness, the desire to smoke lessened and lessened. It was also good for my self esteem as I lost weight and started looking better. Everyone told me I would gain weight from quitting smoking. I was like "I'll show you! I will lose weight and quit smoking!" Which is just what I did. I know you are active in AA so you know it's hard to take away a behavior without replacing it with something else. You take a character defect away by often replacing it with the opposite (ie, where there is faith, there can be no fear) When you take away smoking, what are you replacing it with? I really wanted to be a nonsmoker. That is what I envisioned and I started doing things incompatible with smoking - taking care of my body became a priority. All the head games and willpower went out the window really cuz then I was working on something larger and more purposeful than quitting smoking. After about 10 days the worst cravings were gone and I never looked back. Still have no desire to smoke 3 years later.
RP, thanks. Great suggestions and help! I have been doing things along those lines but need to do more. As an adult child of dysfunction I tend to beat myself up and tell myself things have to be harder than they are too, and my tendency is to give up on myself. I will keep trying though.
Mattie, thanks. I do not have a sponsor and I stopped asking people in the AA steps because of all the power-grabbing games etc that go on behind the scenes, some very bad behavior. That's the downside of AA.
Quitting anything in the midst of crisis is like setting myself up for failure. I really have to deal with my emotions first and THEN I can look at what I want to change as far as habit. I'm a diet coke, coffee person and if I let go of both at the same time and I'm having a running hormones .. lol .. it is so not pretty .. headaches, crabby to the nth degree.
For me I know I can stop both one step at a time and I'm going to have to deal with a 3 day headache and then it gets better. You've gotten great ESH already just wanted to add that part of what has worked for me in the past.
I know I need to stop both .. for me .. I need to wait until things calm down just a bit. As well as, I am more emotionally settled.
Hugs P :)
__________________
Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole woman.- Maya Angelo
I want to add something for you all...last night God brought me some answers.
Not having a cigarette to cover up emotional pain is perfect because if I can suck up the pain and take it to God and just deal with it, eventually, slowly, I'll develop a tolerance to emotional pain and I'll probably mature in my whole self.
