The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I love this post as a reminder that no human aid can relieve our disease, I love how you ended it, putting it all back on Higher power ((hugs))
My son is just beginning his career as an MD. As a student, he was amazed at how people treated him when he wore his white coat, "They think I'm like God or something." It scared him so much because of the enormous expectations people had of him, not just patients but people standing in the lunch line at the hospital, asking him questions. He felt fear and doubt for a long time because of this, he does not know everything, and never will, it's all so vast. But many people don't know that, I didn't. And yes, maybe as you say, we want to hold someone responsible, someone ought to be to blame, heck, I even blamed my husbands parents, as he did.... (it's gotta be somebody else's fault, haha!)
I did exactly as you did, I dragged my husband to various doctors trying to "cure" this thing. Part of my problem was, I just didn't know what alcoholism looked like, I thought an alcoholic was someone wearing a long trench coat with bottles in his pockets and living under a viaduct somewhere. I didn't know it could look like my very successful husband, it took time for me to get clarity.
One thing I will like to add, I could NOT be where I am in al-anon if I hadn't hit a bottom, I did not simply make a decision to seek recovery, and neither will an alcoholic. I had to be devastated and suffering before I was ever willing to hear the solution, I had to hate my life sooo much and feel like I cannot take this anymore. That's how it had to work for me. Otherwise, who the heck wants to "change?" lol
-- Edited by glad lee on Friday 3rd of August 2012 01:06:27 PM
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The prayer isn't for Higher Power to change our lives, but rather to change us.
Over the years I have seen and heard many incidents of health professional bashing over addiction and it really bothers me. I completely understand the need sometimes to place blame somewhere besides our As or ourselves but what can really be expected from another human who is just as powerless as I am over addiction? Health professionals, whether trained specifically in addiction issues or not, have to practice the highest forms of detachment possible to avoid the pitfalls of burnout and depression we associate with codependency every day with 1000s of people. There is a reason it is called practicing medicine not performing medicine, everyone is different and there are no hard fast rules of treatment to almost any health problem much less a cunning, baffling one like addiction.
I never stopped dragging my exAH to various doctors and therapists but was it their fault when he refused to be honest or make changes in his life? I could still be angry at the psy who diagnosed bipolar while my exAH was using speed and drinking daily, making his own mood swings, which then led to a months supply of lithium used in 5 days and near death experiences the psy never got told about. I could blame a system that does not have the liberty of speaking to family without permission, lack of detox centers and sanatoriums with 24 hour care yet people get sober and even recover anyway when they want to or have to. I have seen my exAH go to expensive detox, inpatient, outpatient treatments, best of therapists (and worst), poor mans detox (jail) and every variation inbetween since he was 11 years old. 31 years of the best and worst of medical and psych recovery efforts are all those people who are trying to provide what help they can in the ways they can to blame? I dont think so, they are trying to do the best they can with what they have at any given moment just like me.
In contrast I look at my disease and my efforts to follow a program that keeps me healthy NMO does not cause me to lie or abuse my meds. I am able to work as a team with my health and psy care professionals. I expect detachment and non-enabling behavior from them so I can get the best logical care in a little known disease that effects each individual differently. Did I feel this way at first? No I just wanted HELP and I was given what was available but the rest had to come from my efforts and my Higher Power.
I dont know, I guess I just finally needed to say my thoughts.
I agree Jennifer! I never really thought about it until I just read your post but you are so right! Health professionls are just as powerless as I am over addiction. Thanks for your share. ((((HUGS))))
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Mandy
Don't settle for less than your potenial. Remember, average is as close to the bottom as to the top. ~Unknown
No matter how far you've gone down the wrong road, turn back! ~Unknown
Thanks for your insight... I Believe alot of what you said for sure, its funny how when we take care of ourselves we can then have compassion & understanding of others that at one time, thru us for a loop... Your Recovery is shining thru in this post, and thanks for allowing me to see health professional differantly... And i Hope I Can remember this the Next time I'm at the Hands Of "Expectations" :)
