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My AH is headed back to the ER tonight for the third time in a year. About to go through withdrawl/detox again. My son took him because I told him last time that if he went back, I wouldn't be there for him. So many thoughts going through my head. Is anyone still awake out there?
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"Just being there for someone can sometimes bring hope when all seems hopeless." - Dave G Llewellyn
Hello there I am in the uk so it is my morning here, I am sorry your having to deal with this right now, I can only imagine the thoughts and feelings, I support you in the boundary you have set to protect yourself, I fully understand that does not prevent the fear and the sadness, glad you could bring it here it helps to let it out, (((((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))) Katy
What can I say except it happens and Im sorry. Sorry for you, sorry for him....
My alcoholic X husband was in every ER in the city, rehab 3 times, mental facility for two weeks under lockdown part of the time. All within a 6 Month period. The last drama that happened is when he ruptured his esaphagus. Over two years ago, he knows he cant drink again or he dies. Its his decision. He has been going to AA for 5years , he continues to go, and he has stopped drinking. The Universe demanded that he stop. Who knows how far the have to go before they finally do.
This is a very sad disease , we musten pity them or ourselves. Calm your mind and try to sleep. Sleep is healing. It will all be better in the morning. A new perspective.
ODAT: Todays Reminder: " A natural faith is indeed a gift. Yet, it is never denied to those who feel the need of something to cling to and are willing to reach out for it. When I consciously surrender my will to God's will, I see faith at work in my life."
" I will take comfort in unwavering faith, for without it I am helpless and alone..."
Thanks Katy. I sometimes forget that we are from many different places here. It is 3:30am here and I can't see me getting any sleep tonight.
I wrote on Saturday about needing support because he was acting so crazy and I was afraid of him. The time since then has been a rollercoaster. I knew he had to be drinking again but getting him to admit it wasn't going to happen. Finally, tonight after he became threatening again, I called our son to come over. He went into the basement, where I suspected he had liquor hidden, and tore the place apart. He found a gallon of Vodka that (SURPRISE) had been bought on Friday. We confronted him with the evidence and he finally couldn't deny it any longer.
I just look at him and can't believe this is the same man that I married. The one that was such a good provider, father and husband. He looks like a stranger to me - so angry and used up. My heart is breaking for him and for our kids and I am literally sick with the knowledge that there is nothing that I can do. That is so hard for me to get through my head. I keep thinking if I had done this or said that, maybe . . .
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"Just being there for someone can sometimes bring hope when all seems hopeless." - Dave G Llewellyn
{{Hugs}} I hope you can use all the tools of Al-Anon to take good care of yourself. We keep getting more practice at letting go and letting God, don't we? I hope you can figure out good ways to be extra kind to yourself in the days ahead.
Sorry you are going through this :( It makes me mad at alcohol - which of course is kind of pointless cuz we are all powerless over alcohol. I often wish I could shake someone into getting recovery or just download recovery into their brain like the matrix or something. Wishful thinking. Prayers for you and your family - There is always hope.
I soooo understand and feel the disappointment with you on this side of the computer ((big hugs)) My hope is in the continuous turning to Higher power, for strength, for willingness, for acceptance, for courage, for everything I need when I feel disappointed and flat like this. So don't stop, keep up your faith... not in your husband but in your Higher power to bring you your peace. Find time to rest quietly, to be with Higher power today, be open to receiving that, it's always there I've found, I have to want it, to be done with the drama of it all, and want the peace. I usually get myself to the park, among the trees and near the water. my mind follows, the peace always comes when I seek it.
You're going to be okay, you will, my friend.
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The prayer isn't for Higher Power to change our lives, but rather to change us.
Sending lots of love and support, .. take care of you. Nothing you could have said would have made a bit of difference. I don't know if that helps or not to really get that, it's so not about anything you did or didn't do. I can certainly understand and empathize with the frustration you are going through at the moment. Watching someone on the downward spiral is not a joyful event, it hurts. You are going to be ok.
Hugs P
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Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole woman.- Maya Angelo
