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My AH has been drinking for stright 5 years no sick time in there this time Its been 36 yrs he has and Yes it does get worse a time goes on and the longer it is the more they can tolerate the more they drink. After 2 Weeks of Very Heavy Drinking coz he was on vacation. hes ready to go back to work and he says he is going to quit. In his head he has not a problem. He drinks 20-30 beers a day after work. So He drinks 5 beers and I'm laying down for my night shift nap. and my son who moved back in with us for a bit runs up stairs and waks me up and tells me to wake up dad might be having a heart attack. Went donw to see what was up and he is at the kitchen table shaking ,sweaty legs are numb and feet he said. I took his BP it was 220/110 I work at the hospital I had to call in. Took him to ER and he was going through withdraw they thouhgt. For the first time in 35 years he wanted help. all the male beds were taken in detox. So we were sent home. Grrrrrr
Its been 8 days now no beer But its like walking on egg shellsI go back to my first 3 steps. I was going to a lawyer this week Is it really going to happen? Can he go with out a drink ? Its not the first time. Yes I still Love him. But I can't live with with his drinking. as you all know I was 16 when I got married and this year will be 34 it got me out of an alcoholic home. I said "This will never happen to me" I'm happy and excited he quit but sad hes not making the next move. I been reading all my books on detachment coz I called a Al-Anon member for the first time in a while and we talked she said reading that helped her it was good for me some one who really knew how I was feeling.
I know he is White knucking it right now I just have to take it one day at a time its hard my head is just spinning Let Go And Let God ! Thanks for listening... But he has
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I put my hand in yours and together we can do what we could not do alone.
A scare like that can carry a person quite a ways... He might stay sober off it (with no AA) or he might now. You know how it goes it would seem. My BP was at about that level during my drinking. I started taking high blood pressure meds even. It went completely back to normal within a year of being sober. My ex-A's BP was even higher. He has not stopped drinking or smoking... and yet he still lives somehow....
Welcome Deb!! Its good to have all the information, awareness and experiences you now have along with some of the solutions. Call another Al-Anon member!! how so rocket science...that one saved my life and helped me learn to take care of it rather than surrender it to the disease and the alcoholic/addict. You know health and health with poison so you know more of the practical...technical stuff than me and that won't help him if he ain't ready because alcoholism is cunning powerful and baffling. It is a fatal disease millions have lost their lives to it...the commercials should show the funerals rather than the bar parties and festivities. Doesn't sound like "he quit" but rather that "he could go no further this time"...there is a big difference. Advanced alcoholism means that the body is not willing to continue while the compulsion just doesnt' want to stop. Alcoholics overdose all the time...the "toxic shocks" where the chemical over rides the subconscious systems of heartbeat and breath and the body succumbs along with the person. If he won't you might try calling AA central office in your town and ask if they have fellows who make "wet" calls or 12 steps calls to alcoholics who have not stopped drinking seriously. I have witnessed miracles from such calls and there are many recovering alcoholics willing to do them. If that happens or can happen, leave him to the AA member and get out of the room. He will be with someone who knows the before, during and after of the disease arrested.
Good you have program and a phone list...good for you. Chances are the disease willnot take you down with it. Keep coming back...In support. (((((hugs)))))
The ex A had many many health issues, he had a serious liver issue (caused by drugs) as well as a progressive illness. His illnesses he felt deserved my attention. When I was ill (a number of times) he trivialized them, dismissed their gravity and offered little if any support. He did go to the pharmacy with me but he certainly didn't stay in the emergency room and didn't follow up with me to see if I was alive or dead.
For some people a wake up call is a time to get sober, for some people it isn't. The issue for me was that if the now ex A didn't get sober was I willing to live with the chaos, confusion and constant uproar. I had to detach and work on myself. Detaching of course in the face of life threatening illness is no easy matter. I had to work on "not knowing" and that was indeed a comfort to me to be willing to "not know".
I understand the fatigue, sadness and anxiety you must be having at the moment. I hope you will continue to reach out and get help and understanding because its there.
