The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I am new to this site and this is my first post. I am a 30 year old, pregnant female with an alcoholic husband. I am having a lot of difficulty dealing with him. Usually I just ignore him until he is sober. Then we talk and he is always "so sorry" and he is going to stop. Today I saw him drinking out side. I packed him a bag and told him to leave. I know this may not be the right thing to do but I can not take it anymore. It is a continuous cycle...Every weekend with no break. From morning till passing out. He says hateful and mean things to me and I do not think it is fair that I am always the one that leaves. I always feel so alone, even when he is here on the weekend, because he is not really here. I am nervous that nothing will change before this baby is due and I hate that.
You're very strong for doing what you did and setting the boundaries that he cannot be around you in this condition. I remember my AH's drinking started to get really bad when I was pregnant, which is the worst possible time - just when you really need the support. I didn't tell him to leave then, but I did 2 years later after his drinking got progressively worse. The anxiety around this is awful and I found when I finally had him leave I no longer had to take the burden on myself of whether he'll do it again or not. Whether or not he will change, you shouldn't have to be around it and you can find hope through support groups like Alanon, where people have been in the same shoes. I hope things work out for you and you find the continued strength to take care of yourself and your baby. Wishing you support.
thanks. I have a feeling I will be peeking around this site quite often. Just to keep myself sane. My biggest problem is that I want to not talk to him. But it is hard. It only makes me mad and if he is not ready to change then it is a fruitless conversation anyway.
Aloha Pecan and welcome to MIP family. You're qualified to be here and also it seems qualified for the Al-Anon Family Groups and our face to face meetings in your area if you are not already attending. The program is great and can help you change the situation you are in for yourself. We have tons of literature there; alot of it free to new comers and it is where I got my sanity back. Your story is very very usual and if you haven't scrolled back in time and post on this site please consider it. You'll see the similarities twix your story and ours and may come to understand that how we learned to come out of the insanity and what we do now is very valueable and works when you work it.
I would love to attend and tried once but there was no meeting there when I showed up. That was incredibly discouraging. I was trying to find a way to contact someone to confirm any particular meeting but, given the content, it is difficult.
