NOt that I went anywhere.  I just feel like I have been living under a rock or a cloud for the past fortnight.

My husband came back from his brothers funeral early hours of this morning. 

I was so scared this would trigger a full on relapse for my husband.  I thought I will put my husband on the plane but pick up the addict at the airport.

I was wrong.  I have never been so happy to be wrong in my life.

During the time I was speaking to him, he sounded good (in terms of intoxication).  I didn't ask at any point while he was away, he had to do what he had to do.  He was surrounded by drug users.

Once he was home and he had debriefed to me etc, I asked how much he smoked while he was away.  I am choosing to believe him.  He said he had two tokes on one joint at the end of the funeral. 

There would have been a number of influences for this outcome, but as we all know, the only real influence was his choice.

Yes it is not abstinence, but in comparison to the alternative that was in my head.... I am ok with that.  In fact, I am pleased that he kept  it to that.

It is the first smoke of real cannabis he has had (that I know of) in about a year, maybe a bit under.  He has never expressed that he will give up for good.  In fact, he expressly states the opposite, he will never give up.

My expectations were not met and I am happy with that.

On another note.  My Alcoholic father (in AA) and my Mum are staying with me for a while.  I am dealing with a dry alcoholic and at times I forget how volatile that can be.  It is bringing up alot of feelings and empathy and forgiveness is not amongst them at this stage.  We ended up yelling at each other last night.  It was a quick argument but firey as all ours are. 

Two addicts in my house at the moment.  One has been dry for about 33 years, and in AA, the other is just chosing to not use drugs so much at this point. 

No wonder I feel a bit stressed hahaha.  I also am feeling my HP around me alot lately so that is helping to no end.