The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I'm starting down this path...... I have gone down this path before and only go so far, why? I do not know. Maybe because it's overwhelming? I need to sort it out.
I went to the bookstore today.....it was overwhelming. I had intentions to buy Getting them Sober and The Language of Letting Go. Neither one in stock (I ordered them online from Amazon though!!!!) Anywhoo I was looking through for other books that may help me and realized or wondered what and which of these dysfunctions I have and how do I know and which do I address first. Am I co-dependent? Am I an ACOA, although she didn't drink her papa did and she had so many of these traits I read about. There was emotional abuse growing up. At 13 I became what I label a "sacrificial lamb" and lost my virginity to a 23 year old. Two children resulted from that "relationship", one of which is an Addict. His father was an addict and killed himself, that sure didn't help my son any.
Where do I even begin???
How do I make mature responsible choices regarding my son when I rarely even make them for myself?
I like to write my thoughts down and have journaled in the past during bouts of therapy....maybe I'll start there.
Thanks for being here. It's good to know I'm not alone and not crazy (well, you know what I mean! :))
Hugs...I can relate to the whom am I? It's kind of a mystery at times. The book Getting Them Sober really helped me to get out of the mess I was (am) in. This board and f2f meetings also gave me strength. Keep posting! It helps! =)
__________________
Katfshh
~The most beautiful sunsets are made by cloudy skies~
Before you start labeling yourself. Your a human being thats been affected by the disease of Alcoholism.
It can make us feel like our life is out of control, it makes us question ourselves and it makes us do and say things we wouldnt ordinarilly do or say. In the beginnnig before Alanon I didnt like the person I was with the alcoholic. I didnt recognize myself.
Alanon helped me get my sanity back and new footing. You didnt say if you were attending face to face Alanon meetings. I hope you can attend as many as your able too. This will really help and hope you get those books and any other Alanon material you can get your hands on.
Hi I agree completely with Bettina Please do not label yourself and please search out alanon meetings in your community We who have lived with this diesase need a program of recovery just as well as the addicted person.
Please keep coming back here and posting You are worth it.
Neesabean, you just made a huge leap by realizing you needed to spend time getting to know yourself and healing. Many folks just plunder along making decisions and don't dedicate the time to any therapy or self-improvement. So, it will be a process but the good news is that you already started down the right path :)
Neesabean...just got my computer back up and am happy I did and got back into the MIP family dialog. Your post is sooooo revealing of my journey in the program cause your questions remind me of my inventory days and I actually started the basics with "What Am I" and then went on with urging from my Higher Power to "Who am I". These are very very important questions in my perception and if you need to bounce them offa the fellowship don't feel shy to include me. In support and good luck. ((((hugs))))