The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Mine starts in my head while I am asleep it wakes me up, and I come down stairs pop on the kettle and read alanon, I read my stars too but onlt take notice of the bits I like, just like today I started off optimistic no real worries I count my blessings hug my daughter, show my husband some real affcetion and then the phone rings, my son is in a mess with credit again, no shock there but sadness the woryy will come later, he took a new mobile phone on credit it's all singing all dancing the latest Iphone, he doesn't work, he also had another phone before this which this new company have taken over I was worried I tried to explaine the small print we have been here before, I knew deep down it was only a matter of time, and here it is, detatch detatch detatch, his phone his life his worry, don;t do it for him katy, deep breaths breath let it gooooooooooooooooo, leave it with him and get busy. kurrrrrchin, I will do my best to do my duty to god, later aligaitor.
only difference between your story and mine is that my A son is 42yrs old. His phone has been disconnected for almost a month now - before that, I've advanced him money to keep it in service because he needed it for work -- my reasoning was that without the phone, no work and without work he couldn't contribute to the household expenses. But with the phone and work, he bought vodka instead of milk or lunch meat. Last May I advanced him over $500 - then in June I had to scrounge up $900 to buy meds for my sick husband to get him ready for heart surgery and to do that I had to pawn my Great Grandmother's wedding rings -- without the meds, hubby couldn't have the surgery, without the surgery, he would die. After buying the meds, I had exactly $3.25 left in my account and 1/4 tank of gas!!
I had so much anger toward the A son for putting me in that position but then quickly realized that I made the choice to loan him money and had to accept responsibility for my own actions & choices. I dumped the anger toward the son and chose to be thankful that G'Grandmother had the foresight to bequeath me her rings. I know in my heart that she is glad she could help me in my time of need.
Wow, that really went off topic, didn't it!!
I start my day with a cup of coffee, read MIP and offer up a thankful prayer to my HP for guiding me through my days, one day at a time.
-- Edited by Path to Serenity on Friday 20th of July 2012 10:02:45 AM
-- Edited by Path to Serenity on Friday 20th of July 2012 10:05:17 AM
I start my day by reading and journaling, but my brain is what wakes me up. I always start my day by overthinking, it's definitely an issue for me. I tend to spend too much time thinking about things that I can't fix or don't have control over. That's when I go find my Al Anon literature and do some reading so that I can get some good thoughts going for the day. Deep breaths sounds good, Katy, keep doing what you're doing!
Lol lately I am waking in a big puddle of sweat!! I put my brain on scan and just wake by reading through blogs and posts. Finally after an hour I start in on the real stuff. I read off and on. It just kind of depends where the day hits.
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Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole woman.- Maya Angelo
I start my day with the 3rd Step prayer followed by the Serenity Prayer. I do this prayer before I even get out of bed. I then get up, drink coffee, read my alanon literature, come to MIP and then start my yoga exercise.
Hi Katy, How old is your son? I ask because I need to make changes and the cell phone is going to be one of them......my son is 26 and I still have him on my plan. I also still have him home and foot the bill for his existance. He works intermittantly, not being able to hold a job because of the alcohol and related issues.
It's very difficult to decide what is helping, what is enabling, etc.
I've been reading here for several days trying to figure out how to proceed with him. The situation is out of control, I am realizing I am powerless over it and that I am not helping him by allowing him to continue down the path that I keep lying before him. I need to let go and let him forge his own path....I just don't know where to begin.
Being here and reading everyones shares is helping me to focus on what is right and wrong, good and bad, etc.....its so hard!
our son is 21, and boy is it hard, our son just goes from one disaster to the next, with each one we think, lets just hope this will be the turning point, he mixes with the wrong sorts, and he is easily led, we have so much heartache with him because most things we say will happen if you do this or that do happen to him, and we are helpless to stop that, but there are things we can do, like I won't give him money, he can have food and clothes and a warm bed, but money will run through his fingers and he will drink it away, I cannot pretend to like the people he mixes with and so he keeps them secret from us, sometimes it is better for me not knowing, but the trouble thing is we always find out, in our company without thr drink he is a great lad, no trouble, but with drink inside of him, there is another side to him, I have no suggestions really we are still going through it, all I know is when things are good I try to enjoy them, and we can actually enjoy life when things are pretty grim with him, I try to pass the responsibiity of his behaviours back to him, like say I am sorry your going through this so what do you think you will do about it? I love his bones though, little monkey that he is.
Thank you for your responses and for listening.....I'm hol;ding back tears as I type????? Someone cares.....
Anyway, I don't know what to do.....I think for my sake and the sake of my husband and home, he needs to leave the house. He has no steady job, and although everyone is his "really good" friend, I don't think he has a place to go live, which scares the daylights out of me. My husband says he needs to "fly or die". In the meantime I don't know what types of things I should be doing for him......I had been taking him to work and picking him up, if not how would he get there.....but I'm starting to think maybe that should be his problem not mine. He is an adult, if he was responsible he waould have a vehicle, then I hear a little voice tell me he is sick, so does the sickness make irresponsibility ok? I don't know where to draw the line. He always finds a ride to go hang out with friends, or go get alcohol, but cqalls me to pick him up.....and me, I do! I did not answer my phone yesterday when he called....at least thats a bit of progreess.
I'm just holding on here and hoping for guidance and strength to do the right thing.
I like to keep things simple , first words out of my mouth are Good morning GOD what are WE doing today, reminds me that I am not running my life any more and that I am not alone . works for me
I wake up and read atleast a couple Al-anon daily readers either C2C or ODAT or Hope for Today. It always putd my head in the prgram and turning it over to God right away for the day. Sending you all love and support!
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Sending you love and support on your journey always! BreakingFree
Al-Anon/Alateen Family Group Headquarters, Inc. 800-344-2666
" Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional."
"Serenity is when your body and mind are in the same place."
I have learned, in my own experience and from old timers who have strong programs, how vital it is to make time for a spiritual practice each day. I reach for my daily reader before getting in the shower, and I often take advantage of my commute time to talk with HP.
I can tell when I get out of regular spiritual practice. I lose contact with HP, my program begins to fall apart...and soon after, I begin to fall apart.
