The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
And so as not to hijack anyones thread, I lay in bed this morning reflecting on my relationships and there was soooooooooooo much I didn't notice about myself when I am busy evaluating everyone else, i can see how ron out it would make a person trying to figure everyone else out and then having such an high opinion of myself and blimey did I ever get in a stropp if folk upset me, I was so fragile so sensitive still am and yet, it's kinder to let people be than to try and change them how I wish they would be, so I ask myself these days waht are my motives is it to control is it to be right is it so people like me?, am I trying to manipulate? before alanon anyone of those things could have been a reason for my low moods and depression, and blame was another one, and the ye buts?, so my question to me now is? motive,and outcome, wehn you have largely lived your life on your own ego and self will, that is the fear for me or used to be, if I don't do it my way I won't cope, but how frustrating when I just won't let go and it keeps me stuck, and I repeat repeat repeat, old habits and as the saying goes old habits die hard!
I don't care for aggresion and sarcasm and belittling, and one I hear lot,"it;s alright for them", I am running on blind faith these days, and I do appreciate getting back what I give, it humbles me, it makes me happy, how people treat us is a reflection of them, how we respond is a reflection of us, provacation is not a justyfication, this is purely my thinking based on what I read here in all of your shares, I have slowed down a tad, in my responce's to take time to reflect seek advice lay all my cards on the table and you show me yours and lets compromise, I see myself in all of you i see where I have been and where I want to go, i am reminded daily that this here this programme, does what it says on the bottle, it attracts, thankyou to everyone from lovely john who provided us with this miracle, to friends old and new, there are three things that last, faith hope and love, love you all to bits.
Thank you for your clarity and honest affirmation of " How Alanon Works ". Your posting was a perfect share of YOUR Experience, Strength and Hope . I could identify with every word, especially your description of "how it was". I too was living on self will and ego before Alanon and now am also checking my motives, and learning to negotiate. What a powerful gift to read this AM
