The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Has anyone heard about the law of attraction? I am getting stuck with how I can use it with alanon as well. My conflict is coming in because I feel like a lot of the LOA teachers speak as if we have all of this power with in us - but alanon teaches us we are powerless over others. I feel so conflicted because a lot of these teachers have these great lives and they seem to "manifest" (as they call it) such great lives. I have been getting exhausted just trying to figure it all out. Surrendering sounds better to me but then I think.....But, maybe my life would get better if I realized that I create my reality and I am a creater (as they say). What do you think?
Goodmorning willow, I see it as meaning we are powerless of all things outside of us, and for me it was understanding that I was trying to get the world to fit around me, lol like I thought I could do that somehow, it really is funny to me now how seriously I belived that, and how hard and how long I treid to mould life to fit around me, now here is the thing, I had to learn that I could fit into this world quite happily if I changed how I went about things, but first of all I had to learn I didn't know I didn't know, and then when I started to know, I had my work cut out for me, then it did get confusing, because my head was telling me your doing it your way katy and it never worked before, why do you exspect it to turn out any diffrent? so that was the next stage for me, learning to know I knew, but how to apply that to myself to get a better outcome, it's trial an error I think, you win some you lose some, but stick at it, because just as the snowball rolling down the hill gets bigger and fast so will you, I don't measure my insides by anyones outsides, you can't really know what is going on inside someone else, and it surley is enough to take care of onessself, practice practice, it;s very scary doing something diffrent but it is insanity doing the same thing over and over and getting the same results, there was a time my ego would of said oh I know everything lol, I don't and never will, but what I do know is, alanon works for me, when I apply it to my life it doesn't elliminate the bad stuff it simply gives me the strength to face problems respectfully and in turn I feel respected and much better about myself.
I'm a huge fan of "The Secret" and the Law of Attraction. I actually listen to it on audio book almost every day on my drive to work in the mornings.
For me, what I get out of it is that I play a huge role in the outcome of MY life. Not anyone else's. If you've read The Secret at all, skip back on over to the chapter about relationships. What I really enjoyed about that one in particular is the message that we have to take good care of ourselves and love ourselves, and when we truly practice that, then we naturally draw more loving caring people into our lives. I also enjoy thoroughly the message that living a relationship where we feel like we have to sacrifice for others conflicts with the law because when we do that, we're saying to the universe, "hey, I don't think there IS enough for everyone so I'll do without." They repeat often, too, that everyone is responsible for their own joy. You can't figure out someone else's joy FOR them.
This meshes with the Al-Anon principles in my own mind because a lot of what I've learned from Al-Anon is that I'm the only one in my life who gets to determine how happy or unhappy I get to be. It echoes that I'm not responsible for anyone else's life and outcome. It reminds me that if I allow it, my mind can build a mountain from a mole-hill. If I focus on lack and misery then guess what I keep getting back? More lack and misery.
I feel so long as I keep the focus on myself, where the Law of Attraction is concerned, then all the better. I don't feel, personally, that the Law of Attraction is there to be utilized to manipulate other people. In fact, it's quite impossible. I remind myself that I practice the Law of Attraction for my benefit, and so long as I'm harmonious in my approach and don't try to force solutions, then only good can come of it.
Oooh. Another thing I love about the Law of Attraction is the reminder to not get tripped up in the "hows" "How's this going to happen?" I know in my illness in Al-Anon, I used to waste lots of time trying to figure out HOW something came about or will come about instead of just having faith in my HP's plans and abilities.
Hope this was helpful.
You're right, though - if it's got you tied up in knots trying to figure out "how" these two philosophies can merge, then perhaps letting it go for a bit is just what you need.
I think the law off attraction can apply to alanon in that so many spouses and significant others want their partner or the loved one in recovery - The best way to get thim into it is to model it for them through attraction. In other words - build your own program. Of course there is a negative side too which is when you feel like you are not worth anything, you will attract someone who also feels worthless about themself and someone who will treat you as if you are worthless.
I don't think alanon or any 12 step program wants you to believe you have no power in life. Even in terms of others. The example we set has a lot of power.
Alanon taught me that I have all I need "within me" to have a wonderful life. My job is to use the alanon tools to release me from the destructive tools i have been using that prevent my true healthy self from thriving.
I must admit that I am powerless over others so that I can stop trying to change them and begin to focus on myself. This is a slow process. Working the Steps, letting go of destructive thoughts and beliefs finally enabled me to place principles above personalities and live my life with courage, serenity and
I too believe we have the power with in us * to change OUR lives * not other peoples . and the great part of recovery for me is we have all these program people who really care that we meet our goals and cheer us on , they encourage us to keep moving up when we think we just cant do it anymore and they are there cheering when we reach the finish line .. Never alone again has a whole new meaning for me when I think of the support i find in our program . Louise
I love all the responses and your experiences. I totally agree in the law of attraction. The thing that I get stuck on is all the "manifesting" talk. There seem to be all these guru's out there talking about this. I wonder if I I ask the universe for something - then am I trying to control it? One famous lady says that we are creators and that we create our own reality and that we create everthing - like we are a God self. I am still trying to learn how to surrender but that doesn't sound like surrendering.....It feels conflicting to me. My husband always tells me that he sees me trying to heal with EFT tapping, affirmations, ect and that that is not surrendering to God. He only tells me this because I come to him with frusteration that it's not really working.
All I can say..is Let Go and Let God--that's how I start my day off every day; since then, I've come to enjoying each day; one day at a time. And with that, I tend to be very grateful for where I am at; at this very moment, right now. :)
__________________
Get out of your head, stop worrying so much and focus on how beautiful today can be!