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I didnt find it morbid or offensive. Death is a natural process that we cant escape.
Me, my daughter and nephew were there when my Dad drew his last breath. We were playing his favorite Glenn Miller records and dancing around and talking to him and helping him by talking to him and making the journey easier for him.
My Mom was out with my brother looking at coffins and making funeral arrangements already and he passed away when she was doing this.
She never pretended to feel sad, but I figured that was between my Mom and Dad, they bickered all their life. At the funeral she got up and said a few words. I recall them word for word. " Well , as you know we never got along, were were like oil and vinegar. we never mixed. I loved my Dad very much and have a great memory of the moments of his passing. You know a year later my Dad got back at her, we went to the cemetary on Memorial day and my Mom didnt buy any flowers so she took them off of somebody elses grave. When we got home to start dinner the oven wouldnt work. LOL
I found your story very amusing. I always feel bad at the passing of young people who have their whole life ahead of them, like the epedemic deaths of young people from drugs and alcohol, more must be done.
You and your Mom will share a laugh forever on this one. lol
Hugs, Bettina
-- Edited by Bettina on Friday 13th of July 2012 04:39:27 PM
-- Edited by Bettina on Friday 13th of July 2012 04:41:26 PM
I have to put this down in words .. oi .. the fact that I am semi normal or maybe I'm just this side of dysfunctional as a norm. There is a HUGE reason I have been in and out of therapy as long as I have.
Anyway, my aunt passed away the other day and it's been kind of rough. I'm dealing with discovery paperwork and to know me is to know I HATE all paperwork it just needs to be dumped in a big pile and burnt!!!! I'm ok with that too .. LOL :) Add to the stress, my stbxa and the having to get my house ready to leave as well as cats and so on .. I haven't even gotten to the kids and myself .. LOL! It's a lot however it's all going to get done or not .. I can't stress about it at this point.
My mom is doing ok considering .. however she just lost her mom about 11 months ago and is obviously having a very hard time. There was a part of me that was hoping she wouldn't be in the room when my aunt passed because I completely knew there was going to be drama .. not jerry springer drama however on the best day of As The Stomach Turns kind of drama.
She started going into great detail as to how my aunt looked like my grandma the mouth position and so on .. come to find out my aunt was still in the room .. I immediately said .. mom you will have to call me back and talk after they remove the body. I can't do this it's way to weird for me. We're tlaking I worked at a funeral home for almost 18 months sooo .. death is nothing new to me. I have enough to deal with I'm trying to be there for her however I have to protect my sanity as well.
She called later .. and as we talk out of the blue she starts talking about the bridge work in my aunts mouth, how grandma just decided to have her teeth pulled. My mom is a retired RDA (registered dental assistant) .. LOL .. OMGosh .. seriously .. I was laughing so hard I was crying. I was thinking son of a gun REALLY?! Now she can't figure out why I'm laughing and she starts laughing and then of course is mortified she's laughing and doesn't know why and I can barely get out .. holy crap mom, people want to know why I'm so weird and why my humor is so completely out there?! Aunt, just passed away and you are talking about her TEETH!!!!? Who gets up close and personal with someone who is dead and examines their teeth!? I'm having flash backs of dealing with her when grandma died and I know I posted about that as well .. she was wearing grandma's clothes.
I'm so looking forward to this trip because I need it to be able to truly relax and let go for a few weeks. It's going to be a crazy school year in a good way .. it's just going to be REALLY busy!!
This is not how I want to spend 3 weeks talking about dead people's teeth and I swear if she starts wearing grandma's clothes again it will be a long trip .. lol!! I love my mom and I understand she's got to grieve in her own way the issue is that she goes a tad over board into the drama .. I have often said to her she missed her calling .. her oscar is waiting. I do understand how hard this is for her. It's kind of shocking to think that she's all I have now. It makes me sad for her and for me .. this is where I wished we had a big family. In fact I decided that I'm having a few strays over to my house this year for thanksgiving .. it's important to me that we have a housefull of people. Especially people who are in need of family.
I'm so sorry if I offended anyone it's just WOW .. I had to put this in words to get it all out. My sponsor is unavailable and I really had the biggest laugh thinking holy cow ... there is such a reason I am who I am .. I only hope that when I said mom .. that is just sooo wrong (as I was laughing and crying) she won't repeat that to anyone else!!
Thanks for letting me share, ... P :)
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Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole woman.- Maya Angelo
Oh Pushka, you are a riot. That would crack me up too!!! My family is more opposite, it would have been "oh yeah she died, it's natural, no need to get upset over it" LOL.
Glad you can use humor to get through and it's clear you care a great deal, but instead of anger you can lovingly giggle at it :)
I love your sense of humor and after being an EMT and in the medical field the last 7 years well it is a nice relief valve and helps with the stress. At times I can be dry sarcastic and morbid, but I try to never be disrespectful or cruel to anyone. I got a laugh or 3 from your share! Sending you much love and support!
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Sending you love and support on your journey always! BreakingFree
Al-Anon/Alateen Family Group Headquarters, Inc. 800-344-2666
" Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional."
"Serenity is when your body and mind are in the same place."
I get it. There are members of my family that you could not pay me to sit next to at a solemn occasion ... especially a loved one's passing or funeral. Outrageous stories of the loved one's mishaps or comic observations of surroundings are my downfall. It is one of those quirks, a cousin and I share the physical pain laugh as well. Wouldn't want to be in a room where we both happened to break a toe or anything. Something my brother said the other day about my little niece during her treatment made me remind him of this, I think she may have it too.
I am glad your mom and you could share that moment. We all need to laugh especially at rough times. Odd senses of humor are a blessing
My brother and I were looking through my dad's stuff after he died and I picked up this slip of paper with a poem on it that goes (to music for me) "the worms crawl in, the worms crawl out, the worms play pinochle on your snout....." My brother and I just sat there giggling. So I understand the laughter you can't seem to control when you least expect it.
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I am strong in the broken places. ~ Unknown
All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter another! ~ Anatole France
i am laughing as i'm reading your post. my immediate family and i have that same humor. if someone stubs their toe, we all go hysterical. once my husbands mother was geting in the car and bumped her head. my husband said,"oh my god mom. are you ok?" i had to turn my head because i started giggling. he thinks we are all sick. (which makes me laugh too!) i do think alot has to do with being in the medical profession (several in my family are nurses) i am so so glad my family is not the only one!
Sounds much like my family, too. Laughter is a great healer!! Btw - it may sound corny but she is not all you've got ;). I know what you meant but you have all of us and your kids future families and who knows what is yet to come!!!
I'm ok with that too .. LOL :) Add to the stress, my stbxa and the having to get my house ready to leave as well as cats and so on .. I haven't even gotten to the kids and myself .. LOL! It's a lot however it's all going to get done or not .. I can't stress about it at this point. 
