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Yes, no doubt, alcoholism is a progressive disease. My husband drank until the age of 60. He is now 61. He lost his job at 59 due to racking up another DUI (his job required driving). Over time, I saw his personality change from great to horrible. It was a nightmare for him and all the rest of us. He has neuropathy, a painful disorder that limits his time of his feet. He has to use a mobile cart to shop in stores. The neuropathy was caused by alcoholism.
How fast the progression is (I suppose) depends on the individual. Don't kid yourself just because he holds down a job. Many alcoholics do. My husband worked for a company for 30 years before being forced to retire. It's not a good way to end a career. It affects his self-esteem somewhat, but he is working on that through AA.
One of his AA buddies committed suicide a few days ago. He had been sober for two years, had a relapse, got sober for 2 days and then ended his life. He allowed his disease to take over.
-- Edited by GailMichelle on Thursday 12th of July 2012 06:27:13 AM
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You have to go through the darkness to truly know the light. Lama Surya Das
Resentment is like taking poison & waiting for the other person to die. Malachy McCourt
All literature and doctors state that alcholism is a progessive disease. How long does it take to progress? How long are they generally in a stage, before it moves forward. I've had relatives that drank into their 70's. They were mentally imparied, but still held jobs and no major health issues that non-alcholics were not experiencing.
My separated A had a relapse 18 months ago and has been drinking heavily for the last 14 at least. He now claims it is under control and that he's content drinking 4 or 5 a night (which is probably more like 6). He goes to work every day and calls me at lunch and in the early time after work. By 6 or 7 I don't hear from him anymore until the next day. He makes something to eat, drink and passes out. I saw him about a month ago and he was very thin and I went off on him and now he is eating.
When we talk he will repeat things that he forgot he already told me and ask me questions that he is already asked. Just wondering how long and how fast this will progress. I have spent a few weekends with him and he did not drink, becuase he knows how I feel, so I know that he can refrain for a day or two but I know on his own he is not taking any breaks.
JJ...in early program we use to read the AMA definition of alcoholism at the start of each meeting. "...alcoholism can never be cure, only arrested by total absinence. If it is not arrested it will progress into insanity and/or death. It is a fatal disease. I've seen this come about as I have also seen the miracles that total abstinence and the program have brought about. Learn as much as you can about it...I went to college on it and today hold the thought that there is no disease as powerful as it is. Also it predates the life of the Christ by thousands of years. It has progress that long. It can be found in DNA markers.
The progression is unpredictable but it is certainly progressive. The fact that it's slow and not totally predictable is a HUGE part of why people think they can gamble with alcohol. It takes some people longer to bottom out than others.
Also they say that the progression is one where alcohol kills us on a mental, spiritual, and physical level. When I came into AA, I was starting to suffer in all those areas - It can progress in 1 or more area at different speeds. A person can be motivated into recovery by a bottom that is more pronounced in one area than others as well.
Interesting topic - this has been on my mind for the past 24 hrs because my A son & I had a long heart-to-heart yesterday and he voiced his concerns as to how much damage he may have caused his body during the past 18 months that he's been consuming hard liquor in random binges. He stated that he feels so much worse now after a one day binge than he did back in his youth when he and his buddies partied hard. Well, of course I didn't have an answer for him other than to tell him that he knows what he needs to do to stop the progress of this disease.
My father drank up into his late 60s then died of alcoholic poisoning.....his A father died at age 25 from alcoholism and TB, one A Aunt died in her 40s from a self-inflicted gun shot to the chest, two A cousins died in their 20s also from self-inflicted gun shots - It's a crap shoot on which will kill them first, the physical or the mental.
Alcoholism is described in AA and Al-Anon as "cunning, baffling and powerful." Baffling is one of the key words to focus on here.
Just like any other disease, there's no timeline. It's all unique to each person's genetics, psychology, environment, etc.
Have you been getting to any face-to-face Al-Anon meetings yet? I've found them really helpful. I used to feel like I had to continually put my life on hold while I waited for the other shoe to drop when living with an active alcoholic. I felt like I couldn't plan anything important because I just didn't know if another tragedy would strike brought about by the disease. I finally learned through Al-Anon that if I wanted my sanity to return and to start enjoying my life, that I couldn't wait around any more for the disease to finally "progress"... (progress to what... another breakdown.. a bottom... an epiphany... what??).
I think for me the most startling statement I've ever heard a long timer in AA make is every bottom has a trap door so when you think you can't go any further down .. think again.
It just depends on the person. If you had told me this time last year that 12 months from then that my STBXA would be where he is at, our marriage would be over and he has literally become someone I don't recognize I would have poop poop'd the idea. Now .. I look and think WOW .. how did he fall so fast .. and he's sliding even faster and HE is the only person who can put the brakes on when he is ready to do so. I have no idea when that might be, all I can do is turn him over to his HP and pray for him. My prayers do start with God help the SOB and the good news is the God of my understanding knows exactly which SOB I'm referring to.
Hugs P :)
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Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole woman.- Maya Angelo
A great book to read is "Under the Influence" By Milam & Ketcham. It goes through the stages of alcoholism in detail. Very interesting & informative. VERY scary if you are close to an alcoholic in the later stages. While I was reading it, I felt like like someone had written out a checklist for my AW. She was (is) following it almost like a script. Everyone is different as far as time is concerned, but ultimately the outcome is recovery or death, at least for dyed in the wool alcoholism. This disease is so scary, so awful.
One thing my RAF used to tell me about being able to hold onto a job was that is one of the last things an A loses because the job provides income for the alcohol. So it becomes the second most important thing, behind alcohol.
Country Boy
-- Edited by Country Boy on Friday 13th of July 2012 09:39:47 AM
How quick the progression depends on the individual. No one can predict it with others. I was born into this disease and watched some of my family progress slowly others faster. My son is an addict who went from zero to 60 in what seemed like a whirlwind. Just know it is progressive unless one finds recovery. Blessings
It isn't just the alcoholism that progresses but also the mental health issues that have probably been underlying it all along. Depression and/or anxiety also are progressive. Each episode becomes more extreme than the last. Also, the longer these illnesses go untreated the more imprinted the behavior is in the brain. After the 15 years of heavy drinking my exRAbf had, I would sometimes see his inability to function in certain ways. It is well documented that the parts of the brain are eaten away by the alcohol and there is shrinkage. Sometimes when he just didn't get things I would actually picture what his damaged brain must look like in his skull. For anyone who has been around someone with a brain injury, you know how difficult it is to understand their moods, thinking, and behavior. My ex is so very sick and damaged in many ways. His illness progressed to the point that I am shocked he didn't actually die. His mind and body are so damaged that even abstinence and program cannot take all the physiological and psychological damage away. If he were to relapse it would result in death as he only narrowly escaped it last time. Also, it is important to note how much my illness of codependency progressed in the relationship. Each time I went back things fells apart quicker and my behavior became worse. I am not the codependent person I was even 5 years ago. I cannot go back to that stage. My illness has progressed and without working on it everyday as a recovering A would, I will get sicker. My illness brought me to places I thought impossible and next time it could be worse.
Lotsa love, Chaya
