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I've been out of the loop and this is just an update for the curious. Didn't want to worry anyone so here I am!
Basically I've been getting my life back together, which is improving but feels like a sloooooow crawl. My main obstacle has been depression, styled in the, " I'm 41, childless, neice and nephew-less, alone in helping my aging parents, and and my career skills are in the toilet." In other words, run of the mill woe-me midlife sadness. It's very annoying. I have wonderful friends but the solo home life does get me down sometimes. The other day I ran into a friend and his new kid, he told me about another neighbor's wedding, and I went home and cried. I do try to do everything I can to stave off these blues, but am not successful every day, clearly!
All has been quiet on the exRA front. He appears to be obeying the restraining order. He is also still living on my same street, 1050 yards away. I ask you, if you were served with a 500 yard/5 yr. restraining order, in the whole wide world, would you live 1000 yards away from the person you were supposed to stay away from?! No you would not! The majority of the time I can honestly ignore this, every once in a while I am really peeved. It's like my own personal bully has camped out in my yard. Fortunately since my stay away order was upgraded to this massive restraining order, I feel like the neighbors in the know are taking me seriously now and are keeping an eye out. I have a button with the word, " GUILT" crossed out in red sitting in the middle of my fridge, and no guilt is exactly what I'll feel if my ex ever crosses the 500 yard [ that is more than a quarter mile! ] threshhold and gets arrested. Most useful decoration, that "No guilt" button! I wish I had a bunch I could give out! :)
Any ESH on the above would be welcome, but in general I wanted you to know everything is fine and normal. Thanks and take care!
No answers from me. I have my sinking spells. I don't get so much of what my AHSober (over 30 year relationship) does. When I go to meetings the message to me is that it is the disease of alcoholism talking. They tell me to not ask why but to keep the focus on myself.
So glad the ex is keeping his distance and you are continuing to put one foot in front of the other. I also found that all the concentration on the alcoholic in my life kept me from moving forward in other ways. Also that life progresses in fits and starts -- "punctuated equilibrium" they call it in evolutionary theory. In other words it's not steady progress, it's stop-and-go, but progress gets made anyway. Sometimes we have to gather our strength. My finding, though, is that "Do the next right thing" gets results down the line. I try to remember that when the results are not immediate! Which is often.
Keep on taking good care of yourself! It sounds like you are doing great!
As always wonderful ESH already!! Keep taking care of you, .. keep the focus on you. I have been saying to myself .. all I need to do is show up and let God show off.
Hugs P :)
PS - I have been praying that he continues to keep his distance .. sending love and support.
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Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole woman.- Maya Angelo
