The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
my ABF is in detox this week, we were supposed not to talk to eachother, and I have hands full of work to do with myself nowadays, trying to focus on myself, but it's hard, because I miss him of course. I guess he feels the same. Today he called, and I guess i should have been smarter and not pick up, it's not the time yet. But then I'm human only too, or addicted too, i can't tell the difference anymore, and it's a fact that I am not always the strong one. I am tired actually and need a shoulder to rest on too from time to time..... I feel lonely while he is in this institution probably, or at home with family, I don't even know, he wouldn't tell. He just sounds tired, asks me where I am and then I ask him in return and he just goes 'actually I am not supposed to talk to you, you know' ..and hangs up the phone.. FRUSTRATION, ANGER, SADNESS....what did I do wrong again, or what shall I do to make it right??...any move in any direction seems wrong nowadays.
Today is not a good day, my stomach is not with me either....pain!
(((Tortuga))) he was right...he woke up and did the right thing...wasn't supposed to be talking to you...he has to learn different behaviors and so it took him a bit...let him go and come find out where we meet in your neighborhood....Al-Anon in the white pages of you local telephone book...find the number make the call and come site with us with an open mind. You're a smartie..."addicted too"...yes we are. In support ((((hugs))))
Yes I want to go to a meeting and sit down...but in this country here there is not such a thing...only online. Only AA and that's where my ABF goes. But am trying to meet with one Al Anon fellow living here too.
Focus focus focus... i feel like a train that is about to derail every single meter. They should offer guided 'detox' for us too.....
Actually a guided "detox" tool for the al anon person is the book Getting them Sober. Toby Rice Drew has a web site too. I know of no other resource that realy helps to adjust the attitude. I put all my eggs in one basket with the now ex A. He was the center my life ran around. No wonder I was devastated when he used drugs, drank all the time and went bankrupt on so many levels. I had to switch the center to me. Of course I didn't want to and railed against it. Eventually I came around and I have to say its a lot better to be self reliant than dependent. Dependent feels romantic and idealistic but its actually a really hard way to be.
