The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I went to my first meeting last week and while I found the structure of the meeting comforting, I was also a little confused. Mainly, I was surprised there is not interaction with a person's "share". I expected discussion, questions, suggestions, or even encouragement after someone shared. Also, it was very general. Everyone who shared talked about how they feel about Al-Anon and how it has helped them. No one spoke about specifically what they were going through because of an alcoholic in their life. I know the focus is supposed to be on the Al-Anon member, not the alcoholic, but I feel like I need to vent a little if I am to share in the future. Is venting acceptable at an Al-Anon meeting or is it generally more subdued?
In alanon we share our experience strength and hope with each other in order to recover. Venting is definitely permissible and is usually followed by the member indicating what alanon tool they found helpful or just ending the share with a Thank you.
The power of sharing is in the freedom to speak without being interrupted, judged or told what to do.
In sharing we reach our inner voice and speak our truth This is how we find, that voice and self esteem.
There are Beginner meetings (identified in the meeting listing with the letter "B") At these meetings the tools of the program is discussed and often there is a question and answer period.
After any meeting it is helpful to speak to members and express your feelings. Getting telephone numbers and a sponsor enables us to call each other when a problem arises and talk This too is a powerful tool
Hi Julie, The first meeting is usually directed at you to tell you how each member feels about AlAnon. The second meeting is more open. There is never any discussion or suggestions about what to do. Members give their experiences so you can see what they did, but not to tell you what to do. We never know all the dimensions of anyone's life, so it would be folly to tell them what to do. Go to more meetings and you will hear a lot of venting.
Hi Julie, Welcome to meetings. They have been my path to the life I want to live. To me, the best meetings are where people focus on what has helped them, not those where someone itemizes the behavior of the person they think is their problem. Sponsors are good for listening to that. I don't think anyone, especially a beginner, would be rebuked for saying what she or he wanted. You can feel free and know we understand what you're going through.
I have found that Al-Anon meeting at different venues can be different.
Even though reading the Steps etc are the same.
I have been to a city meeting, fairly formal, and the reading of the One Day at a Time book is read in turn, following a theme, by each member and their own experience shared of how that attitude or action being used by them in the past has been helpful. After that meeting one can stay longer, have a coffee and speak more privately with someone/anyone.
In another meeting place the meeting is much more casual, smaller group, and even though the structure is the same, members share their last upset or happening and receive encouragement based on the experience of the other members, using the tools of Al-Anon - during the meeting.
Either way the care and the concern for each other can be shown.
There is a saying in Al-Anon. " Try six meetings before you decide that this is where you want to keep returning to"...or words similar.
