The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I've recently found our that my sponsee has asked someone to be her cosponsor. This person goes to a handleful of meetings a year and lives out of state 5-6 months out of the year. I work my program very differently than she does and I feel that meeting attendence is very important. My sponsee has also been battling cancer and I do not want to add to her burden. I do not see how this 3-way relationship is going to work, any suggestions?
I would ask my sponsee why she felt the need of a co sponsor. Then I would listen attentively to her reponse and then decide what the best coarse of action should be.
I would keep the focus on my program and not take the co sponsors inventory or discuss her meetings attendance or availability
Depending on her response I would decide if this would work for all of us.
My own sponsor told me to find and use what ever I could to gain and maintain my serenity...so I did. He also told me that if I could not let my sponsees at times sponsor me than I should consider not being one. The last one was about being able to learn even from the student. I've had great sponsors in my recovery...great and everyone of them were human and none of them were saintly or perfect and I do that exactly myself. I once called my own sponsor because I was concern about him...in a divorce...moving...losing his job. He nicely told me that his life was none of my business and then hung up on me...nicely. Had to love him...great teacher. Thanks for the memory. ((((hugs))))
Lois Wilson called sponsors "trusted friends". Can you still see her as a trusted friend? Yourself as a trusted friend? The third person as a trusted friend? Maybe this third person is a cancer survivor that she can talk to that part of her life about? You should ask her... or just continue on as if you didn't know she had asked someone else to co-sponsor her.
