The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
5 days after he put the loaded gun to his head I'm feeling the calm come back into my home. He's been gone at his parents since July 4th with all the chaotic drama.
His parents were manipulated after the gun incident the very next day that he doesn't have a problem.
When I woke up this morning I recieved the text, had I see him? Nope. He left their house yesterday and didn't return. They do not know where he is, I know its day 2 of the bender. I realized how lucky I am today to know have the anxiety I've had for all those yrs. Not worrying about where, who, what, why??? Or the big one, what will happen when he finally resurfaces!
I know this is mean, but I kinda like his parents getting to experience the joys of living with their A son since I was always exagerating! :) Mom is spending her weekend now worrying. I have a slight concern if he is ok so soon after the gun incident, but I'm giving that worry up to my HP. Then the slight worry he may show up if he gets too wasted, but I beleive he won't. You know when things are going too well.....
I had forgotten what calm days felt like. Not being used as the sober up, shower, sleep and shave house, no name calling, no detroying things. Nothing.
As expected the party ended, he showed up drunk at mom's. She got angry at him so he lashed out at me, just cuz. Apparently a make a great drunkards punching bag. I blocked him. I don't need him to tell me again he used me all those yrs. Its painful enough without being reminded repeatedly. Deep breath, I will not let him steal my peaceful day.
Thanks for sharing. It is really nice to know I am not alone in the feeling of guilty pleasure when people who believed all the lies and manipulations had a chance to see .... reality, maybe is the best word. I am still working on that character flaw of really enjoying that particular validation.
I found out my XAB and his dad are now doing to his Mom what they have done to me. Now she is the one who is exaggerating and blowing everything out of proportion. I feel bad for her, she's getting double teamed, dad will always protect son, all the way to his demise. Denial is turning husband against wife.
Dad left at 3pm to pick up my XAB from his 2 day bender and "have a talk with him about his drinking". When dad got to the party, he joined in! Father & son stayed for hours, both drove home drunk and blamed the mom when they got home. They'll make her think she's crazy like they always did with me...
