The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
everything bottomed out four days ago. I told my wife we were done. she fell apart and checked into a hotel where she drank her self drunk everymorning for three days. I still couldn't pull myself away from her. So I went to her everyday to try and take care of her. I didn't want to have to tell our four kids that their mom was dead. long story short she accepted the fact that our marriage and family was over. She is currently in detox and headed to a three month inpatient care center tomorrow. Tomorrow also just happens to be our anniversary, ironic huh? in any case I still don't know what to do. what to expect or what I and her family can do to possibly prevent a relapse when she returns in three months. I still love her very much and want to do what ever I can. My pride has prevented me from seeking help sooner. I don't want to make that same mistake with her recovery.
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IF YOU ALWAYS DO WHAT YOU HAVE ALWAYS DONE, YOU WILL ALWAYS GET WHAT YOU HAVE ALWAYS GOT
One thing I'm still learning to grasp, there is nothing we can do except to keep the disease out if our life if we choose, and get ourselves healthy from our own disease. This is a sad illness.
For me the best way to help was to learn how to mind my own business ,and allow the alcoholic the right to live thier lives the way they choose , have my own program so that I can learn about the disease of alcoholism and how it is affecting me- detachment with love takes time but that allowed me get the focus back on myself where it belonged I dont have to go down with him . If your not already attending meetings for yourself I hope you find them soon ,our kids deserve one sane parent , I learned here how to be a better mom , wife and friend this program has improved all of my relationships . We are enablers and until we stop doing for them what they should be doing for themselves nothing will change . we have to stop believing the lies , stop lying for them ,stop making excuses for thier behavior , stop accepting unexceptable behavior the list is long , Al-Anon has shown me how to do this with respect and love .
Thanks for the posts. in my searches today I found an al anon meeting here in town wednsday evening and friday noon. I will be attending both meetings this week.
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IF YOU ALWAYS DO WHAT YOU HAVE ALWAYS DONE, YOU WILL ALWAYS GET WHAT YOU HAVE ALWAYS GOT
Good for you rellik....and good for her also because if you get to the program and listen, learn and practice what we have and do the pressure will ease off of her also. The disease is killing both of you at the same time...it doesn't take hostages it does a body count. One bit of information which comes from my recovery is live only in the day...don't get into the future because you don't know what that is about and leave the past alone it's over already. Just do this 24 hours and try during this 24 hours to turn alot of it over to a power greater than rellik...Let the rehab people have her and get out of the way. It's okay to say "I love you" to the alcoholic and not okay to say "I'll save you"...We're powerless over this disease. Keep coming back and have a great experience at our face to face meetings. The program will hand your butt back to you if you let it.
