It's been a quite the week. My job has been insane. I am thankful to have today and tomorrow off of work. It's baby-birthing season. Ugh.

It's time for me to get out of this relationship. I had my breaking point last night. I have been working and praying, and he had been detoxing. He picked up a couple odd jobs this week. He sold some stuff on ebay, and was able to make a few hundred bucks. He didn't give me any of the money to contribute to the household. He decided two nights ago we were going to live separately, since I'm so difficult to live with. He started packing and plans on moving to sober living. Which I'm all for! I think it is a good place for him.

But, yesterday he mentioned he really wanted a drink and by 800 last night he had one. He said he was going to drink like a normal drinker. I couldn't stand it. I lost my mind. I told him we were done for good and to leave. He didn't want to leave. But, I am not going to be the breadwinner and watch him kill himself with his selfish disease. I don't want to see it. I can't! It's too much for me. It's too much for anyone. He left by midnight, headed to the bar and hasn't been back. All his stuff is packed in the livingroom for that big move to sober living. (Do they take drunks actively drinking there? LOL) And here I sit, another re-run of this life.

God (HP), is really sending me a strong message. I guess it's about time I listen. I can hear it in my gut, "Kat, this is your life, this is what it will be! Make a decision, accept that this is what it is, or walk away. It's time."

I'm going to listen. I am done. Our family phone plan is mine, he just has a phone on the plan. I called my cell provider and turned off his phone. I did that for me. I obsess on who he is calling and I gps him non-stop when he was gone last time. We have the family locator plan, so I can gps him. For my saniety sake, I had to make that feature unavailable to me.

Now if he had family here, I would load up all of his stuff and drop it off.

But, here are my blessings that I know are in place.

I have a job! I have a great job, with a good income. I can support myself. He is not supporting me, I don't have to worry about finances.

I have wonderful children, that are doing well and I love them very much.

I have great friends and family, and everyone will be so supportive and loving through this.

I have this board and F2F meetings that have helped me more than I could have ever understood in the past.