The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
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information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Soooo .. I've had a bit of a power rush lately .. lol .. and that has lead to some bad thinking on my part. I don't think that the heat has helped either it's to hot to sit on the couch and watch tv .. lol. I mean it's that miserable at this point.
I was talking the 12 step talk I wasn't walking the walk that is for sure.
It started last Thursday when I headed my STBXA off at the pass with the delay and I started fooling myself how powerful I was and how in control of the situation I am. WOW .. that feeling of control .. I forgot what that was like and it is heady!!!
Culminating with the fact of court and truly that was a crazy rush .. I haven't felt anything like that for MONTHS!!!!
At court things went amazingly well that doesn't mean they will stay that way. I've come to the understanding that they will stay this way only as long as they need to be.
STBXA's atty is a sleaze .. where I realize that he's looking out for his client the idea that he was going to delay and delay so that I would be forced to take a settlement is just unnerving. That is the part that I got caught up in. My anger at the situation and that wasn't good.
That's ok .. I know that God's got my back and what will happen is what needs to happen. Again I have been given a short repreive .. it will be enough for the kids and I to go and enjoy time together in CA. I am registering for school, hopefully I can get some kind of aide. We'll see. There is a lot to address at this point. I also will need the name and number of every place I can go and get help from, that part will be rough at the same time I have to focus on long term gain for short term pain.
I still think I have a little time maybe not much I think I have a few months we'll see. It's all going to work out ... it's just really hard to feel that old shoe is going to drop feeling I don't like that in the least.
The reality is .. God already knows and all I can do is trust He's putting me in the place where I need to be so that I can provide for my kids.
After all I'm powerless over sleazy atty's and their tricks, as well as many other things at this point. LOL!!
Hugs P :)
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Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole woman.- Maya Angelo
Yes, LOL, you are powerless over sleazy attorneys. Just remind yourself that you are going to be the one who comes out on top because you are doing things the right way and you are putting the kids first. You just never know where your Higher Power is leading you. Thinking about you and praying for you even while I'm on vacation, girl!
YYeah, I love a good power trip unfortunately, but it always comes to a crash for me. Its progress that your awareness shut it down before it happened naturally! I am sending you love and support!
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Sending you love and support on your journey always! BreakingFree
Al-Anon/Alateen Family Group Headquarters, Inc. 800-344-2666
" Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional."
"Serenity is when your body and mind are in the same place."
LOL .. well, it kind of shut me down .. at least though before it ran a mile I was going WOW ... what was that?! I don't think I like this side of myself. No, ... I like all of me .. I don't need that side of myself, I'm still safe, today is a good day and even though I could melt inside the house .. LOL .. I am grateful for the blessings today has already given me.
Hugs P :)
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Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole woman.- Maya Angelo
