The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Im new to using forums but it is hard to get to face to face mtg. My alch husband is out two to three nights per week. Our daughter is eight. We haveva good life other than he drinks too much. I stay because ibdont believe div willbsolve anything but I constantly woory about my daughter and what my staying does to her. Just need a safe place to get support. How do forums work btw?
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When all else fails...there is Faith, Hope and Prayer.
Forums work just by the way you introduced yourself here. Looks like you're doing a wonderful job of using the forum. I am going to encourage you to read as many topics here as you can and learn as much as you can about alcoholism/abuse and the family. I am still with my husband who has a problem with alcohol, too, and it's been a tough road for all of us. I have an only child, as well, he's 13. I, too, have a good life by all appearances from the outside world: beautiful home, great kid, luxury cars, a little bit in the bank for emergencies, etc. That doesn't mean that alcohol abuse hasn't created problems in my relationships and how I deal with people or handle challenges in life, etc. You will find so much support here and lots of uplifting people. We can't replace a face to face meeting, but we can be here to listen and give you our ESH(experience strength and hope). Keep coming back.
Thsnk you for responding. To find someone who else was stays is so comforting.sometimes I feel so guilty...i worry costantly, im anxious and uptight and struggle to just let loose. Becausr of course to do that is way to scary....someone needs to be in control afterall. Just as an example...we live on a lake...love it but guess who our "friends" are...all the folks who drink. Fun for a bit but quickly gets old. At times I feel like a prisoner in my own house as I avoid yet anther weekend of too much drinking. Im the odd one...the one who doesnt drink and then plays with the kids....i could write more....but for now thank you
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When all else fails...there is Faith, Hope and Prayer.
Hi Theoceancalls, I too am new here. I have an AW (alcoholic wife). She is in total denial, even though she has suffered from 2 hospitalizations and one PI arrest this year. With the help I have received here, I have decided to attend Al Anon and try to stay with her. Just from what baby steps I have made I can tell you that it is a good thing to try is to set a boundary around you to protect yourself from his drinking. Understand that his decision to drink is not in your control to change. Then you can start to separate situations that you can change from the situations that you cannot. Unfortunately, you have to accept the situations that you cannot change... but you now can look at the ones you can. It is in these situations that you can set your boundaries. For example, you cannot stop him from drinking, but you can choose not to be home.. Have a girl's night out with your daughter or go to eat with family.
My thoughts and prayers will be with you and, if it's any consolation, you are NOT ALONE! I, as well as many others here, feel your pain.
Please find time for a meeting for yourself , you need support from people who understand . Yeah its affecting your daughter I found out kids dont miss a thing , they hear the arguments they feel the tension ,they know daddy changes his moods they see us cry or upset and they dont know why . our kids deserve one sane parent and since your the one here looking for help that needs to be you . Al-Anon changed my life showed me how to be abetter mom to detach with love from the alcoholics antics how to stop enabling him, allowing him the oportunity to grow up and take some responsibility for his actions .
(((Aloha))) Ocean...I've experienced what Abbyal has mentioned including watching 8 year olds sit in Al-Anon meetings with their parent(s) and grow from the result. I have a sponsee who use to bring both of his young children into the meetings and they grew very well from the result. Call the hot line from the white pages of your local telephone book and find the places and times we get together in your area and then be on time. Keep coming back here also...there is so much to hear and learn. ((((hugs))))
I appreciate the kind snd heartfelt words. Todsy was a hard day. Daughter turned eight and as I watcged i saw and felt so.little joy. It is do painful to see this affecting her. I love her to.pieces which is why I stay as I cant bear gaving to share cudtody but ifeel.like such a lousy mom. Im a therapist ... I work with troubled kids....what a sad mess. I have so much more to share....but for now thank you...one moment at a time...
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When all else fails...there is Faith, Hope and Prayer.
