((((Path to Serenity))) Hugs

I do so understand.    This is a dreadful disease and I am so sorry that you are in such pain.

Please remember that your son has his own Higher Power and be gentle with yourself. 

 Try to rest and keep coming back

(((((PTS)))))...use your imagination and visualize it.   It's a real hug.

Sending you a big ((((((hug)))))), it's the hardest thing to do, but it is the right thing, 

katy

  x

Tom, I do appreciate the story and I am praying for a similiar outcome but am prepared for whatever does come. Hubby & I have discussed at length and we're both on the same page which is a comfort in itself.

The son did come back last nite & tried 3 times to get in the house -- (he still has my keys & refuses to turn them over) I blocked him & he said he really needed to use the bathroom -- there was a split second that I felt callous & cold when I told him to "go find a bush in an alley like other homeless people do" - but I also chuckled under my breath -- don't know what that was about.

I finally fell asleep around 4am & damned if he hadn't snuck into his room before I woke up. Going to let him sleep it off & his Dad & I'll will be waiting to have a 'sober' talk when he comes out. He's refused to seek help from AA because he says he doesn't want any part of a religious group - we all know that one doesn't have to be religious to fellowship in AA.

Gotta go -- he's awake. May the force be with me ... hehe

(((((pathtoserenity))) sending you this hug and hoping each day it gets a little easier to put your own well-being first. TT

Thought you might need to read this today....  there is seldom any clear "right or wrong" answers in our program/lives, but here is a shining real-life example of someone who went through what you are going through right now....  I hope your story has a happy ending as well...

Take care

Tom

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Our program gently guides us to allow our A's to reap the consequences of their behaviors, and that we cannot continue to offer 'soft landings' for them all the time.... I had a friend from my childhood, who became a drug addict....  he was on the street for several years, and had lied & disappointed his parents many times over....  One night, when he was around 20 years old - he called home.... he was penniless & destitute - he was still very active in his disease, but he had nowhere to sleep that night, and didn't know where else to turn.....  He called his Dad, and begged him to allow him to come home....  His Dad said "no son, that is not an option.  I love you, but you cannot come home", and he hung up the phone. My friend was extremely upset at his father.... couldn't believe how callous and cold he had been.... used this anger to stay in his disease a few more weeks..... blamed his Dad for a lot of what he was doing to himself...... Fast forward about 30 years.....  This friend is utterly and completely sober, for over 29 years now..... he has a wonderful wife, family, and career.  His relationship with both his parents is outstanding.  He shared this with his Dad a couple of years ago: "Dad, I honestly believe that if you had allowed me to come home that night, I would be dead now.  You helped me find my bottom, and I am forever grateful to you for that.  That night helped me find my sobriety."   There are obviously no easy or black & white answers for any of us dealing with loved ones, who are suffering in their addiction.  I share this story for some perspective here - when we make these tough decisions, we are highly unlikely to get kudos and appreciation from the addict (at the time). Take care Tom

Hi, Path!  I can relate to what you are going through, both my 2 children are a/a and I have had to let them both go homeless.  Currently, my son, age 49 is off the serious drugs ie; crack and I don't know what else he was on.  Whatever he is doing now, he is able to maintain himself with a sm. ssi check he recieves because of a physical disability.

My daughter, age 54, is still actively using, meth. and alcohol I believe, she is barely maintaining.  She is very angry with me because I refuse to help until she get into treatment/recovery.  She is really pitiful, and my heart breaks every time I see her, which isn't very often.

I've found that is the only way I can maintain my serenity is to detach with love physically and emotionally.  I could go on and on, but this is about you, it does get easier. Hugs and prayers!

Gettingitright!!