Hi Everyone,

I'm a grateful member of Alanon and also AA. I'd like to throw my ESH in the ring. I think the misperception for many is that alcoholics have a drinking problem. The truth is I have many deeper problems beyond that and have used alcohol as the solution to those problems. I am an ego maniac with an inferiority complex, control freak, self centered to the extreme and get extremely angry and/or full of self pity when things don't go my way. I thouht  alcohol helped me cope with these problems(I didn't know these were my problems, I just knew that I felt like s##t all the time) and it works for awhile, but then it stops working, but I keep on trying. It's all I know.That's when I'm inbetween a rock and a hard place. The thought of not drinking scares me because then I don't have a solution or the illusion of a solution as it were. I came to AA because my solution wasn't working and I was in enough pain to try their solution. All that being said, I didn't know how to live life without alcohol. I had to start life all over again.... I didn't know how to relate soberly, so relationships were hard and I did the least I could get by with. I didn't know how to have sex without a drink, so I just avoided it. I had to relearn EVERYTHING by working my program and the steps and it took a LONG time. It is a process, not an event. One year of sobriety is not very long when you consider the relearning process.

So considering all of this, the disease of alcoholism is a family disease. It affects everyone in the family. Thats where Alanon comes in. We have to relearn how to live too, whether the alcoholic is still drinking or not. It is great to read literature and post here, but the real healing comes from working the program. Meetings, sponsor, steps, sharing. Hope this helps someone. Take what you like and leave the rest.

Namaste