The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I'm really struggling with forgiveness today.
Had such a beautiful day yesterday and felt so connected and grateful and then came into contact with someone who pushed my buttons today and felt this rage. Have pushed it down by getting depressed and feel I have lost a chunk of my day to it.
It's hysterical so it must be historical, that rage from growing up in an AH home. Am praying and got to a meeting nearly every day this week, think I'm just really scared. Have been advised to put it down, let it go etc.
Maybe as one of the readings says having good times can bring up pain.
Heard someone in a meeting liken the forgiveness process to the grief process and I need to accept where I'm at in that process.
Finding meetings challenging too.
This too shall pass - need to be patient!
I found that if I can't forgive then I just fester inside. Many years ago, after much counseling & rehab I chose to forgive my father for his abuse of me as a child...not for him, but for me. My sister refuses to forgive - she chooses to live in her misery & hatred. Forgiveness of my abuser brought me peace.
Forgiveness like everything else I have learned in Alanon, is a process.
You are correct, I had to truly accept the situation over which I was angry, express the anger feel the feelings and then ask HP to help me to let it go.
The Steps, Meetings and a sponsor were all invaluable during the process
.
I first let go of the anger over the situation and then the pain and sadness was lifted. I still remembered the situation, accepted it happened and was able to move into a different healthier relationship with the person.
