The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Not sure what to do now? He is here and being sweet, totally a drama king though. He won't eat, is super ancy. Lays down, gets up, lays down, goes and sits on the patio. He is drinking some wine mixed with water. He said that he is trying to taper. I talked to him about moving to sober living. He is receptive. I don't want to make a big break up deal out of it right now. He truly is just a pathetic mess. He apologized of course. I guess I have to wean away from him, instead of cold turkey. LOL. Oh boy.
As far as I go, I am just keeping myself busy. Right now I'm paying bills and trying to just go about my business for my sake. He would like me to sit by him and babysit. But, I have done that before. I am not interested. He came up here and asked me if I was going to get off the computer and spend time with him. He is halarious. Seriously? OK. It's a beautiful day. I think I am going to finish up the bills, take my book and go sit at the pool. I really don't want to be his caretaker right now. I want to be very careful about enabling this.
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Katfshh
~The most beautiful sunsets are made by cloudy skies~
Good for you kat! Enjoy the sunshine. Question though...is your idea of weaning off of the alcoholic the same as the alcoholic saying he's weaning himself off of alcohol?
That's why I said that and put the LOL. I'm pretty much kidding. But, I want to do this with as little drama and emotion as possible. His weaning off the alcohol is just stupid, imo. He thinks I am that niave. He has played that hand before, it's just an excuse to keep going for awhile longer. The first time he did that, he had me running to the store each day to buy the alcohol so he could wean. This was before I had ever been to an Alanon meeting. Afterwards when I did go to the meeting, I realized what I was doing. I have come a long way! I'm going to keep moving forward. I haven't even talked to him about his plan or his drinking. I did tell him that I will not go buy him more booze when that runs out.
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Katfshh
~The most beautiful sunsets are made by cloudy skies~
In my experience, most active A's (prior to them choosing sobriety) - offer up the bare minimum solution so that they can continue drinking and get us (and/or others) off their back.... I can remember the night after my AW passed out at a friend's party.... She wakes up the next morning, and decides (out loud): "hmmm... 12 drinks was obviously too much for me - tonight I am going to limit myself to 6".....
I mean - what rational person thinks that way???
My wise old sponsor used to tell me to "stop expecting sick and irrational people to behave in healthy and rational ways"....
Touche....
Tom
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"He is either gonna drink, or he won't.... what are YOU gonna do?"
"What you think of me is none of my business"
"If you knew the answer to what you are worrying about, would it REALLY change anything?"
