The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Al Anon has helped me so much with anger. I used to constantly feel angry at everyone, because they weren't doing what I expected them to do. I feel proud of the fact that I've been able to institute a "live and let live" policy for most facets of my life. I'm not at 100%, but this has probably been the part of the me that has changed the most in Al Anon. I don't feel nearly as angry as I did 2-3 years ago.
I noticed this change first with driving. If anyone dared to cut me off, drive too slow, drive too fast, not signal when turning, tailgate me, etc etc., I would freak out. On more than one occasion, I went off my scheduled route to "chase" someone for some minor indiscretion. What did I plan to do if I caught them? I don't know. I've sent angry e-mails to companies if one of their employees dared to do something "wrong" in a company vehicle. It is embarrasing to admit some of this, and I know how out of control I was.
Now, I simply am not phased by this. Life is too short and it doesn't matter if someone does something on the road that impacts me. Just this past weekend, I had a moment that made me realize how far I have come. I was driving to a store, approaching a fairly congested intersection. I needed to turn but realized as I approached the intersection that I was not in the turning lane. I gently and slowly tried to manuever into the turning lane. A car was in that lane, behind me, and I was unable to move in front of them, so I slowed and let them go, then snuck in behind them. As they were passing me, I looked over and saw the driver and the passenger completely losing control. They were screaming at me, waving their arms, faces contorted, etc. I immediately knew that I had done the same exact thing in the past...
It was an eye opening moment, to see what I had looked like in those times. I'm really glad that is behind me, and I know that I have Al Anon to thank for this...
Good for you! I can totally relate to the controlling and angry parts. I think living with an alcoholic just makes you want to control everything else in the word since the disease makes our personal lives so out of control. I am working on letting go too. It does feel good when I am able to take a deep breath and smile instead of getting angry at someone for a random situation. It's also so good for my kids to see me under control and being rational again. Good luck and peace!
I so know what you mean! I hope in a few years I will have learned to handle those situations a lot better. Al-Anon has helped me so much already, but there is still a long way to go...
I have something similar happen many uears ago. I too expressed my anger over, what I felt injustices in the world with angry faces and words.
One day while boarding a bus in NYC I stepped on someones foot as she tried to cut in front of me on a bus line. and apologized (She was cutting the line) that was enough to make me angry but I wasn't.
When we were on the bus she walked by me with an extremely angry face,- cursing and I realized how foolish it looked and how funny the whole situation was.
I laughed moslty at my own silly antics and felt gratitude for the lesson.
HP works in mysterious ways and has a sense of humor..
I too am seeing how far I have come thanks to Al-anon and am happy to say I am so appreciative for your share! Great reminder why we keep coming back. Sending you love and support!
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Sending you love and support on your journey always! BreakingFree
Al-Anon/Alateen Family Group Headquarters, Inc. 800-344-2666
" Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional."
"Serenity is when your body and mind are in the same place."
Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole woman.- Maya Angelo
Yes, life is easier now that i don't have to control what EVERYONE else does.
The live and let live philosophy really lifts the weight off. So...now that I've stepped back everyone is going to have to run their own lives themselves...Even if I could have done it better...
I have to admit that even though I've been in Al-Anon around four and a half years, I still suffer moments of road-rage. It's hilarious when I look at it. I'm pretty mellow through most everything else, but jeez... get me behind the wheel and I pull a Dr. Jekyl/ Mr. Hyde. I don't road rage all the time, nor to that extent, but I certainly catch myself cursing at slow drivers. Sometimes when I catch myself, I'll say out loud, knowing how ridiculous it sounds, "Don't you people know what kind of day I've had??? I just want to get home!!" and then laugh, because of COURSE they don't know what my day was like. haha
But yes, I'm very grateful, however, for the many, MANY other areas where Al-Anon has softened me.
