The material presented
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yes he showed me a gr8t weekend spent lots of money on me,drank just a little,he spoiled me all weekend long,showered mewith lots opf attentin,love and affection,and has asked my hand in marriege and he wants us to have a wedding,i told him lets take it slowwwww and wait 6 mths,to see how thinkgs r stilllgoing and he asked if 3 mths would be ok with me,and i aske y 3 mth instead of 6 mths and he just said he would be on his feet better,with just getting this new job ,which this new job is 10000 x better than his least i know and he is in such high spirits with this new job,i am very happy for him and i know he can and will make it,so he has set off the fireworks for me,and my feelings have bossemed agin ,that i thought was lost and gone forever ,guess not ,im in love agin,darn it,i want things my way but seems i cant have everything my my,i didnt want to fall back in love with him but did,i dont know what happened,ill be seeing him mostly on the weekends and some through the week,we love each other very much,his love for me shows more reason is ive never had soo much effection in my life,and attention,his love is so unconditional,he has sure been doing some heavy talking and long conversations with me he said he just broke down and decided if it took begging me back so be it which was what he done was beg and plead with me,i dunno,,we set a marriege date last time to get married and i broke it off with him 3 mths before it got here,and now we set this 2nd marriege date for he wants sept i think nov.may be better,ill just have to see,i know im gonna do things completely diff. this time ,by im keeping my last name like it is,and everything else like it is im not changing nothing and im gonna keep my home here and just keep paying my bills here and let my son live here and his freind,and move some of my things in with him,whereever we will be liveing which wont be too far from where im at now,and also im gonna put me a nest egg back for a divorce should we not make it.im just been through 2 divores in the past yrs,that werent pleasant at all,and theres no such thing as a separation law here in my state of miss. its either yur married or not and everything belongs to him and me and my home,his name will go on nothing here either ,im on ssi,i know all i have to do is tell them we are separated and they put it on paper that we no longer live togerther and tuck me a copy of that away slso,lol i know i must be sounding like im ending it before it even begins i just want to be takeing all the safe gaurds i can take,in protecting myself and makeing it as stress free as i can,even do a or sign a thing and pay for it that if it dont work out whats mine is mine and whats his is his,so he cant take nothing of mine with him.scary still,cause i know his past too welll i guess,he has agreed to go to church with me also which is so good.well what do you wise minds think now,plz leave yur esh,thanks agin on listening to me,,,hugs and hugs ...silent
Thanks for the lovely update. I am glad that you are continuing to take care of yourself and using your program tools. Stay focused on yourself and trust your program and HP
I just want to encourage you to trust the instinct that is telling you to take your time and wait. Trust that part of you.
A book that was recommended to me, because I got involved with someone who was able to be one way when he wanted me, but then was another way when he had me, is called "How to Spot a Dangerous Man Before You Get Involved" by Sandra Brown. I have read this book multiple times while dating and it has saved me a few times when I got the "feelings" going but something inside me just wasn't sure.
Allowing yourself happiness is always good. I wish you well
I know we are all wishing you every happiness. Before I married my BF, who had problems with alcoholism, I got a pre-nup. I know some people think they're unromantic. To his credit, my BF said, "If you need one to feel right, I'll agree gladly." And it has been a great help to us in keeping our property separate as he got in enormous debt. Of course he didn't want to get into enormous debt, just as he never signed up to be an alcoholic, but like life insurance, we take precautions just in case the worst happens. So of course I don't mean to be telling you what to do -- it's just something to consider.
My BF after my ex-AH was the one who was incredibly loving and wanted everything to happen double-quick. It was a dream for the first few months. He had an impulsive side -- in his case that's why he wanted us to be so together. (I know some abusers push the partner to get married so they can have more control. Fortunately he wasn't one of those.) What I didn't realize was that his impulsively wanting to be together, without slowing down to consider things, could also manifest as impulsively wanting not to be together, without slowing down to consider things. So after a while it was a nightmare of sudden break-ups and about-faces and I didn't know whether I was coming or going.
The way I see it, if love is true and strong, taking time won't hurt it a bit. The best to you.
Silent - Just do your best to make sure you will be fine no matter what. That means keep taking care of you and don't make all your happiness dependent on him. You don't have to do everything together. Keep doing special things by yourself and just for yourself. You will never be so devastated again by him (no matter what) if you keep yourself healthy as an individual.
