My AF has been gone drinking now since Tuesday night. Up until today I  haven't replied or answered his texts or calls. This morning he sent a text saying he has to work and can he come here? He is a handyman,and he has his own business. One of his customers, who is also our neighbor needs work done. So, I did reply and said, "No." and he said she had a stroke, and he needs to do some work there. I said, "Not my problem." Now that might sound insensitive, which is what he said I was being, but I am not. He only wants to do that job, because he must be running out of money. We do not have joint accounts. He only stops drinking when he runs out of money. So, why would I help him to get more money by letting him come here? He isn't helping me pay our bills with it. He is screwing me over financially right now and everything is on me. This isn't just my home, or my responsibility! Ugh. I should have never replied, but I don't want to help him stay drunk, and since I have been through this with him for several relapses, I know what he is doing. It isn't a about taking care of his business, or his customer. It's about getting more money for his booze. It's total insanity. I packed his clothes all up in boxes and suitcases. I just want this over already. This life isn't what I want for the rest of my life. He isn't even semi functional when he drinks. He drinks non-stop day and night, doesn't eat and doesn't sleep. And I have to stay responsible and make sure the bills are paid etc. We have the same phone plan on my account and he has been calling people in the program. I see a lot of attempts and calls to his AA family. So, maybe he is trying to do the right thing. But, even if he does, it will happen again. I don't see him staying sober. He started in AA at age 20, he is 47. Longest he has been sober has been 3 years.

For me and for what I Want for my life, I have to move on , I have to let him go. When he is sober he is a great partner, but he can't stay sober and I can't keep taking the risk. It is too much for me, and I want a chance at a healthy life. Times a-wasten..ya know?