"He is either gonna drink, or he won't.... what are YOU gonna do?"

Breakingfree · ~*Service Worker*~

My new fresh start

texasgal · Senior Member

Wow sounds like ur doing well :)

Debilyn · ~*Service Worker*~

You sound good! I am also so happy you like your work. That can make a huge difference.

As far as dating, it sounds like you are in the blossoming part of it! That is part of getting ready.

When you meet someone then you will know if you want to know them better. Plus what makes everyone make a big deal out of it? Not like you have to marry them or even kiss them.

I liked to go out to be friends. Friends with a man can be very cool. Ya never know if or when it may turn into something else.I hate the jumping in bed right away thing. Why in the world would ya do that when ya dont' even know them?

Plenty of times I was soooo glad I didn't go too far as after awhile the hormones calmed and I wasn't attracted to him at all.

You are so cute someone will be talking to you.

glad you updated us! love,debilyn

CDK · Senior Member

You sound so great!

canadianguy · ~*Service Worker*~

:))))))

nmike · ~*Service Worker*~

I had an interview last week. It would be a new job in a new city after 24 years. And a divorce after 38 years (he said I am outta here eight years ago). Where do I start if I get the job?What do I do if I don't get the job? My AHSober came to my house unexpectedly, talked to our son for 5 minutes, and left. I have had to flattened my emotions about him. You can't have a relationship with someone who doesn't love you. I do still love him but I don't like him any more after all he has done. I wrap the program of recovery around me.

All the best,
Nancy

Smukke · Veteran Member

It sounds very exciting to me and I am glad you feel so good about the new place and new job! I like the idea of taking your time and making friends. There is a reason why our HP lets us be single for some time. When our HP thinks the time is right he will present us a nice guy. enjoy your life as it is :)

Pushka · ~*Service Worker*~

Hugs my sister friend :)

It sounds like you are right where you need to be for you. Enjoy the time to yourself. I know if I had been "dating" or still actively married to my AH then yesterday and today would have been off the radar for me. I"m just enjoying meeting people and doing my own thing and just being free. That lonely thing will pass as you make new friends and who knows maybe you'll make a guy friend and it will go where it's going to go .. no pressure though.

So glad that we are together in this program :)

Hugs P :)

GailMichelle · ~*Service Worker*~

It warms my heart to know you're doing well in your new home.

I think you posted once about desiring to be a nurse. How about on those days that you feel a bit too lonely, you start studying, let's say, anatomy? If you don't have books, you can go on youtube.com to study from there.

Just a suggestion :)

Thanks for the update!

Jennifer · ~*Service Worker*~

Glad you are getting settled in and finding the make you happy stuff

My esh on dating ... I had one codie relapse of getting over involved too soon and had to work my way out of it. It really stank to be doing it over only a couple years after the divorce. Since then only one has made it past the 3rd date due to red flags, personality differences or general EWWW factors LoL Anyway dating changed for me when it stopped being a means to accomplish the goal of a relationship and became a means of connecting with people, experiencing places and learning new things. With my change in perspective I have been able to really see what I like in an aquaintance, a friend or potential boyfriend. Good luck!

Jen

likemyheart · ~*Service Worker*~

Hello BF and so glad to hear how good things are going. My motto - don't date, just live, enjoy everything you want to do regardless of if you have to do them alone or not. Its lonely doing everything alone but at the same time empowering because you find you are capable of going out and doing what you want regardless of if you are alone or not. A LOT of people can't even go eat in a restaurant alone because they feel too weird/pathetic/lonely/pick your adjective. When I start feeling like I'm TOO lonely I make myself think about how much of a pain it was to have to cater to someone else's impossible needs all the time; trying to make them happy so I could be happy but they are determined to be unhappy because that feeds their needs better.

This is a tough time of year for me, worse than christmas because everywhere you go you see couples out enjoying the fun of summer together and I am going it alone. But - as I wrote above, I make myself remember how un-happy everything was with the wrong person and I work hard to embrace that it is better to be able to enjoy it alone than to be miserable with someone.

ilovedogs · ~*Service Worker*~

So glad to hear that you all are getting settled. It's nice to see that starting over can be done even though it's not easy. On paper, it looks easy to me but to put emotions to it and real life to it.....GAH! I freeze up and it's stories like yours that inspire me to really take inventory of where I'm at and of what I'm getting out of life and what I want in the future. Thanks for sharing!

Breakingfree · ~*Service Worker*~

Thanks everyone for the love and ESH. I do feel independent and just fine going out to eat alone or even to a movie when I don't have my kids. I don't miss my exAH and all the drama that came along with it or trying to do something I wanted and wouldn't put up with that stuff at this point. I am just starting to feel good in this fleshy suit and wonder sometimes what's next dating wise and I have already turned a few guys away, 2 for red flags and 1 I just had zero attraction to the poor sweet guy. When my kids go back to school in the Fall I will start my prereq's for my RN, there is a long waiting list, but I will just keep getting settled while I wait. Both the store managers wanted me to be a supervisor for another store in my town and I said I didn't want to work full time or leave the store, but that is nice after 2 weeks they thought so much of me, but I want to stay around 30 hours and return to school when I can get in. I only have a few boxes left to unpack and am feeling more at home lately too. Today i have an appointment to join the YMCA it is huge and awesome and I think that will help. Now I just need to get out and make some local friends. Thanks for all the support my MIP family!

-- Edited by Breakingfree on Monday 25th of June 2012 11:41:08 AM

-- Edited by Breakingfree on Monday 25th of June 2012 11:43:28 AM

AStrongerMe · ~*Service Worker*~

Such a happy, upbeat post! I love it :) You sound strong, thank you for the update!

imom · Senior Member

I am happy for you, but a little envious of your strength. I wish I could get up and make a fresh start too. Have fun on all your new adventures!

The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.

"He is either gonna drink, or he won't.... what are YOU gonna do?"