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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> My house
Post Info TOPIC: My house
Jennifer


~*Service Worker*~

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My house
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is my personal space, not a flophouse for my drunk exhusband when he has nowhere else to go. That is what I said, what I meant, was it mean ... I don't know. It was honest and effective at midnight after a couple long days with little sleep. I sent him off the porch with a blanket and a container of water.

And, wow, I feel more sadness now than ever before. I think it is because I did not really get angry at his attempt to stay here or the manipulations. It's less painful to be mad than sad maybe. And what I saw and heard did not even seem human much less my exhusband, it was pure disease. I was talking to myself as I spoke to him before that last sentence. I know he was not in a frame of mind to remember it so I basically said what I needed to hear to him.

If you speak of self harm once more I will make the call. (This is a tactic I am all too familiar with. If I honestly thought there was any truth I would have made the call.)

Yes, the stove is always gonna be hot.

Theory of insanity - if you do the same thing over and over expecting different results, you are insane.

And the one I HEARD loud and clear -  This is your relapse, it is not gonna be mine.

Nothing is taking away the sadness of seeing "it" so clearly but my best that i can last night was actually pretty darn good for a ten minute conversation just out of a deep sleep. Now if I could get the beasts to not bark at the door I wouldn't even answer or probably wake up the next time. Or one of us could move across the country again.

Jen

 

 



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CDK


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I admire you very much from this share. Thank you for sharing. You sound like a very strong person who is using the tools for recovery. It is so very sad. I remember times where my A did not seem human. Even the shape of his face changed somehow. Its difficult to see anyone in that place of pain. I hope that you are being very kind to yourself today. You deserve it.

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ilovedogs


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Sounds like you stayed strong, Jen. Thank you for sharing, I'm sure it was NOT as easy as you made it sound. Sending you lots of support.

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ythannah


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I hear you loud and clear, Jen... my home is my sanctuary, my safe haven... I don't want it sullied by Aism either.

Your strength is an inspiration to me!



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Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could... Tomorrow is a new day. You shall begin it serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense. - Emerson
Debilyn


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Oh there is the cutest house up here for sale!!! hehe

You did great. Hey just cuz our kids bark does not mean you have to answer. Get onea those peekout I see you thingys.

The poor sick guy. I sure hope if my ex A's host, dies before he does, he does NOT come here. Wait he can't! lol Yeti would bite him big time.

hmmm

You sound really good. That was not mean at all. When  a very old friend of mine pulled that on me I was very strict like. He wanted to sleep in my house. NO Way. said he locked his keys in his truck. I went and looked, hmmm no keys. Oh he lost them. Finally I said ok you need to go to your aunts, I found his keys in his HAND and drove him to his aunts.

just down the road. said to him something about well some of us grew up B. sigh. I think i told this before, but anyway next time I saw him, he was in AA back to being outdoorsy and cute as heck! so glad. He is still after many years clean and sober.

Oh jen I just don't know. Are you dating??? hugs,debilyn



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"It's not so much being loved for ourselves, but more for being loved in spite of ourselves."

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Jennifer


~*Service Worker*~

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Thanks everyone.

It still hurts but not as bad as what it would have if I had let my boundary be crossed. Two positives - I was able to not give it much more thought after sharing and sometime later in the day answered a,sorry and how do I find a meeting text, with the phone number to call even though something in my head said ... you know how to use a phone book

Don't tempt me Deb! Not that I could afford it anyway LoLAnd no I made the decision to not date at this time. Between work, school, training a bad attention is good puppy and training a 150lb puppy (who has his birthday tomorrow), watching nephew during Sparkys doc appointments (she had last tubes removed and got her first bath in 9 months, loved it) and agreeing to be a human pin cushion for a rare neuro disease research thing,as well as, a consultant for a healthy lifestyle program .... I get more excited about sleep than a date! I took the summer off from classes to get my ignored house in order and there are still some big things on my list plus a literacy program, I would like to tutor for, a teen crisis center I want to work with and oh yeah that SLEEP thing again! Anyway at the moment I don't have time to give dating a fair shot, maybe later.

Jen

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