What to tell 5 year old grandson - Al-Anon Family Group

arlene barefoot · Newbie

What to tell 5 year old grandson

Dolly Llama · Senior Member

Gosh, that is gut wrenching. Hard to say...you don't wanna give the little guy more info than he can process or handle...and don't want him to worry about his father or feel it is his fault.

I don't have much experience with kids. You know your grandson better than anyone here. But just a suggestion from the peanut gallery...maybe say something like- daddy is sick and getting help from the doctors. Let him talk and answer his questions the best you can, as he can understand. And just let him know how much you love him.

AStrongerMe · ~*Service Worker*~

Some things I learned about discussing "issues" with a parent to a child. Kids see their parent as God and that's important no matter if parent is an addict or not. Anything stated that may be heard as a negative about the parent, will create discourd between the messenger and child.

So for my kids who's parent was abusive and had begun drinking, had been arrested, time was limited with him etc - what I said was this:

"Your dad loves you very much, sometimes people get sick in ways we can't see and they need help. Sometimes they aren't ready to get help and we just have to wait until they are. There isn't anything you can do to fix this, but you can call, write letters and tell him you love him". I added the last part because my kids were seeing their dad, so we did calling but no letter writing was needed.

orchidlover · ~*Service Worker*~

I don't know that a 5 year old can grasp too much beyond her daddy isn't around. Maybe you can just say he's sick and have the subject be open to interpretation.

When the kid is older maybe you can go into more detail and always be open to explaining that it itsn't anything to do with them.

Maresie.

Diva · ~*Service Worker*~

"Dad loves you very much, and right now he is ill and cannot be with you for a while." No need to go in to full particulars, which he would likely not understand anyway. It is important not to overload a young child with facts that he cannot deciminate.

Best wishes,

Diva

Path to Serenity · Senior Member

Telling the child that Daddy is sick IS the absolute truth. I think that develing into the details of addiction with a 5yr old will be way more than his young mind can comprehend.

Debilyn · ~*Service Worker*~

My kids were very close to that age when their father was killed in the accident.

We took them outside and told them what happened. They were super close to their daddy.

My son got very angry for awhile, daughter kept it in. Years went by, when it really hits kids when they learn hard truths young, is when they are around 12.

Their awareness in their brains develops and they realize what you told them and what it meant.

Diva said it perfect.

I am sooo glad the kiddo has such loving grandparents. My kids and I were blessed with that too.

Hug him lots!! love,debilyn ps I am sad your son is so sick!

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