The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
By the grace of my higher power and of the program I am able to recognize that everything that happens in my life happens for me and not to me. Having that said, relationships and communication are areas of my life that need a lot of work. The only way to improve is practice, right? I've been "dating" this guy for the past few months and today it has come to an end. It was by no means an ideal relationship and we both knew that. At many points along the way I stopped and asked myself if I was making the right decision because I knew it was not sustainable but I kept participating because it was a challenge for me. Whenever another individual is exposed to my less than pleasant side, or vice versa, I have this "eh, whatever" attitude and give up on myself and the other person. If I am not projecting perfection at all times, then I don't want anything to do with this other person. I know it's crazy! Since I was mindful of my relationship patterns this time around, I challenged myself to get over this habitual hump. I'm happy to say I did and for the first time I was able to show myself to someone(flaws and all) without giving myself up to him or compromising myself and not running away. We all have seasons to our lives and I suppose this season of my life is coming to an end.
You know what is wonderful about this? I am thankful AND pissed off at the same time. I recognize it from a healthy pair of eyes and I am honoring my emotional response.
I've done this numerous times in relationships, not always romantic either. Glad to hear you are recognizing your patterns and are feeling more healthy about it all. That's always progress! I hear you on being thankful and pissed off together, doesn't make sense but to me it does, LOL! Thanks for sharing!
