The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Well, this is my first time on the message board and I am quite excited! I've been attending al-anon for just about 3 years but don't always find the time to go to a meeting.
I no longer live with my alcoholic mother but still maintain a close relationship with her and keep a distance from her drinking. I am physically removed from the immediate chaos but still latch onto the emotional garbage by default. I have been opening myself up to a lot of new activities, new people and places lately and I notice that I go through the same mental/emotional cycle whenever I expose myself to anything new. I allow the wheel in my head to spin and spin and spin and spin and before I realize, I am starting to believe the old messages that I grew up with. Here are some of the classics: I will never be good enough for me or anyone else. I will never be smart enough or talented enough to live with purpose. Even if I try, I won't succeed so I won't even bother trying. It is NONSENSE. I then start to believe what the "bully" in my head is saying. I did some release work tonight on the beach(which was perfect!) and am trying to live by the mantra "Keep it Simple."
Realising the old messages and thinking patterns is such a big step. I found it to be painful and I feel like an idiot sometimes when I realise what I have been thinking for a long time. I like your mantra and the patience which comes with it.
Sometimes I think I reached a plateau, just in order to find myself in a lot healthier position at a later point in time. Keep coming back. Hugs!
Aloha Abigail and welcome to the board. Three years of experience in program seems to have served you well. I broke the habit of poor self-esteeming by using truthful (from the invertories) positive affirmations and not entertaining the False Evidence Appearing Real that my head use to manufacture and try to sell me on. (FEAR).
I'm glad you are hear and will join us with your ESH. We all can use the support from this fellowship. Keep coming back. ((((hugs))))
Welcome! I slip into those old thinking patterns too. For me it happens when I'm too much with the world and not enough with my higher power, when I forget my higher power and begin outward esteeming myself through people places and things. I lose sight of my acceptability as I am as a human work in progress which is just how my higher power likes me, open to receiving guidance. I forget I've got a program now and a choice each day to be led by my past or by my higher power. Thanks for your post! Gratefully, we're not stuck in this kind thinking and can recognize that it's just old stinky onion peels ;) and get back into the present moment, acknowledge progress. Whew... how far we've come from old stinking thinking with the help of our higher power and this program.
:) TT
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Surround yourself with people and elements that support your destiny, not just your history.
I used to listen to that old stinkin thinking going on in my head too until I read enough Al-anon consistently enough that I now for the most part have a healthier thought process. I let go easier and accept quicker. I am sending you love and support!
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Sending you love and support on your journey always! BreakingFree
Al-Anon/Alateen Family Group Headquarters, Inc. 800-344-2666
" Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional."
"Serenity is when your body and mind are in the same place."