The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
My A son got word today that his best friend tried to commit suicide. He was in tears telling me about it and is currently at the hospital where the friend is on life-support. The friend has been going thru a crisis in his marriage - he came home to find the house empty - the wife had moved out with the two children and left the house empty. I don't know all the facts but I do know that the friend changes jobs frequently and the wife over does it with the RX drugs -- can't pass judgement because I don't know the inside story - just worried how this will affect my son in his sobriety.
I'm so scared for my son AND his friend so all I can do at this point in time is to repeat:
God grant me serenity for the things I cannot change
I hope your son is in a program of recovery, he will know the right thing to do instinctively .. he will call his sponsor.
You are so walking the right path, giving him over to the God of your understanding and just allowing him to talk is probably pretty big to him. His recovery is his business and how he works that recovery is his business also.
Something we have zero control over is life situations that may or may not affect a loved one's sobriety. It is so hard to keep hands off and just allow them to figure things out.
I am so sorry for the pain your son is in as well as his friend, this has to really be hard to let go and let God.
Hugs P :)
__________________
Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole woman.- Maya Angelo
My son is not in a recovery program - dry drunk at this point thus my concerns. He just got back from the hospital and was able to share his feelings about the situation which is a good thing.
I know that our HP doesn't give us more than we can deal with so I'm thinking that the son may come away from this with a new understanding of how delicate life is.
I know that our HP doesn't give us more than we can deal with so I'm thinking that the son may come away from this with a new understanding of how delicate life is.
P, thanks again for this reminder. It was one of the major understandings and wisdoms I heard and practiced in early recovery. It is so very true for me and it keeps me settled and in acceptance.
It's funny (not haha funny) how easy it is for a situation to throw me back into 'my own stuff'. Yesterday, my concern was for the son - after a sleepless nite, I'm now on guard for my own well-being. I want desperately to reach out to this young wife, knowing what her emotional state must be at this time. This couple miscarried their 3rd child only 3 months ago. Her own family is 4 thousand miles away and she has only the in-laws living close. They are extremely disfunctional and attack her constantly so she has no real support network - but as much as I want to drive over to the hospital to give her a motherly-hug, I'm fearful. I have a tendency to absorb other's pain to an unhealthy level - if that makes any sense.
I totally understand. Both my son and I are very empathic. My son's friend lost his dad to suicide a few months ago and my son cried for his friend. It's a tough thing for a 13 year old to process. My son also lost a friend when he was 10, she was hit by a car while riding her bike. You know, if you feel like driving to the hospital to give her a hug I don't see the harm in that. YOu are a caring human being, bless you for caring so much!
