I wonder why she became so angry? I go to al-anon and my husband sometimes goes to CR. You (and your sponsor) should be proud of him for being in some type of program, even if it isn't AA.
I'm looking for a sponsor but I couldn't imagine becoming angry at such an invite. I even have a hard time understanding how it is crossing a boundary though maybe someone else can explain that to me as well. (I hope she wasn't angry because he is in CR and not AA).

One thing I've learned throughout my journey is that there is ALWAYS an underlying reason to anger. Disappointment, fear or jealousy are a few examples of underlying issues that manifest as anger.

I wonder if you could talk to her about what she was feeling underneath her anger?

I think you're on the right path discussing this with your sponsor the next time through. This is a great opportunity to step out of your comfort zone, I'm sure, and say "hey, what's up?" Remember, ask HP for the words and timing. :)

I'm sure after further discussions, you can start deciding if the relationship needs to change or not.

Remember, your sponsor's a human being and a fellow Al-Anon, too. She ain't perfect.

I don't know anything about that group, but to me, this sounds like an unrealistic expectation.

As a sponsor myself, I take calls all day, some last over an hour plus I work a 47-48 hour work week. Some like to call me after I'm already in bed with no crisis, just to chat. Sponsors have to have boundaries too, they are only human.

To me, this is about HIM and his recovery, not about you and yours. So I would feel the same as her, but you will know once she works inventory on it. If it were me, my defects of "giving myself away," "my belief that I'm not good enough," and "boundaries" all might be bubbling up. But that's just me.

It's a good thing YOU want to support your husband. That is for YOU, and I think it's an awesome opportunity. Invite your Higher power instead, and enjoy!

-- Edited by glad lee on Thursday 14th of June 2012 06:54:40 AM

 

From my experience CR is HP defined in and by the group.  CR wouldn't and doesn't excite me as my first addict was a religious fanatic and they did my family in eventually admitting that they tore up a lot of families where one of the main members wouldn't "drink their drink" and so they continued to pull the other out of the relationship.  People can be addicted to anything.  Why she got angry might just be waiting for the question to be asked.  My sponsors used to get angry over lotsa stuff just like me and sometimes I sponsored by sponsors.  My elder sponsor told me that "If you will not allow a sponsee to lead at times your mind is closed and your self importance is open to attack"...ego stuff.  Just ask her and listen with empathy.   ((((hugs))))

Thank you Glad Lee and I agree that our relationship is about my recovery; my support of my husband is mine...the extension of the invitation was inappropriate on my part.  I also see that the CR group is based on evangelism  so I understand their dynamics AND there is co-dependency among the group members.  My sponsor also belongs to an evangelical Christian church...there was a period of time where there was some pressure from her to participate in her church groups. I kept politely declining.

 This is a good situation for me to ponder, which is why I am seeking input...there is much for me to see here in myself and perhaps some action I need to take on my behalf.  I will continue to contemplate and have more conversations with my higher power.  I will most certainly open up a convesation with my sponsor...I am sure she has been looking at this issue as well.  In some ways we are very much alike.  This could add another dimension to our relationship.