The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I have been living with my husband for over 17 years as him being an alcholic! he stops then starts again.. i need help. he has loss jobs over this and friends. we have beautiful kids together and now it is effecting them.. he is a great husband and father when he isnt drinking. and he is refusing help!! i am ready to give up! i need help
Welcome. You came to the right place. There is a lot of help available for you here. Also, going to a face to face Al-Anon meeting would be so good as well. The message boards are great, so are the on line meetings here. Just know you are not alone. Many here have traveled the same path. There IS Hope! Admitting you are powerless over this is the first step. I think you are there?:)
Keep coming back. Read... Realize that there is Nothing you can do to affect his drinking. Only he can. You can learn to have a peaceful life again, and share this with your children. If they are older, encourage them towards Alateen if that is the age group.
Aloha mstee and welcome to the board. Grace covered what my experience has been when I was in your place also. Face to face meetings in Al-Anon gave me my life back...didn't get the alcoholic addict clean and sober but my life back. There is all the support you need in the rooms of Al-Anon and it don't cost a cent. I pray you go as quickly as you find the hotline number in the white pages of your local telephone book. The first half of our first step is "Admitted we were powerless over alcohol'...boy was I ever and the second part was "and that our lives had become unmanageable" again...boy was it ever.
I got a life back Go find the meetings and keep coming back here too.
If your children are 13yrs or older they can access al-ateen meetings on line. My children love them and look forward to them each week. If you go into alanon.org they will have the info there about them.
Welcome! Living with an alcoholic makes the friends and family around them get sick. We care for our alcoholic loved ones and we want to stick by them for the person they are when they aren't drinking. We don't want to abandon them; and sometimes giving up trying to "help" them feels just like abandonment. But it isn't.
Just like everyone before me stated, we in Al-anon have to admit that we are powerless over alcohol! And that our lives have become unmanageable. In order for the alcoholic to heal and get on his or her right track, they have to experience this for themselves. They have to want it. And we can't make them want it.
The only thing we can do, if we want to heal ourselves, is to focus on our life. When I started to heal myself and I stopped placing my hope and expectations on my alcoholic, I realized that I am the only one who can make my life a happy one. Once I started my healing process - truly was on board with it - I was lucky enough for my alcoholic to see me on my own path and she decided she wanted that for herself.
I hope your story goes something like that. It is tough. I won't lie. But we are humans and we have the power of thought and prayers. Keep coming back here and find some local meetings. Get on your path!
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"Everything that has ever happened to us is there to make us stronger." - John Trudell
