The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
What is your worst fear? It helps me to write about that, get it all out of my head and onto paper so I can see it...
I used to have a crippling fear, worrying about what others might be thinking of me, which is pretty much making them my Higher power. My life became unmanageable because I was constantly seeking approval, appreciation and validation from others. And when people don't approve of me, naturally that means I am a worthless human being - that's what my disease tells me. It's a lie, but I used to believe those lies.
What my kids do reflects on THEM, not me. We are separate people. Living separate lives. With separate Higher powers.
Most important thing for me, is protecting my serenity at these events. I have boundaries for myself today, I know my limits and I excuse myself and leave if I need to. Sometimes I just take a walk to get away, I might call my sponsor. Sometimes I just leave early because "something's come up." I always talk to Higher power during these events, I found that it's totally do-able to act like I'm listening, while actually saying the serenity prayer over and over in my head, lol
Live and Let live. Let him be him. You be you. You may find lots of little miracles, and that it's a beautiful day ((hugs))
-- Edited by glad lee on Friday 8th of June 2012 04:47:02 PM
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The prayer isn't for Higher Power to change our lives, but rather to change us.
My ASon is drinking less lately, has a new relationship, but is not completely dry and not attending AA. I know about the 3C's. But I guess my fear is that tomorrow his wedding day "What If" he drinks too much, that keeps playing over and over again in my head. I know I have no control. I think it is probably a "classic" Al-Anon worry, the "drinking at the wedding too much". Some ESH on how you handled it, what you said to yourself when you were up against any occasion like this would be appreciated.
Oldergal
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Don't Worry About Growing Old, It Is A Privilege For Some Of Us.....
Aloha Oldergal...good to read your posts again and not under these conditions...I'm grateful that your concern reminds me of my time at it and what I learned and then what I did. Yes I went to the first half of the first step and then the slogan with practice "let go and let God" and then the actual just being a powerless participant with the believe that "It's not my responsibility and it's not all about me". I can remember how it came out and I do remember that I came out great.
My then sponsor taught me a mental and atitudinal lesson. He told me that if the "what ifs went on and on, I needed balance and to get the balance I should also do the what if nots". I don't have a crystal and have always been a lousey fortune teller, might as well let it go.
