The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
After 6 days under my belt of my final goodbye to my recovering alcoholic boyfriend; 6 days of feeling strong; 6 days of insight; 6 days without regret for my decision, I have had 2 days Of bring triggered to go back. Because of my clarity for almost a week I could identify that I was triggered to call him because tues I was exhausted and yesterday because I had a terrible back spasm. Last night as I was getting ready for bed I realized that these have always been the times I wanted and needed him most and the times he was most likely to revert to alcoholic thinking and let me down. I definitely need to process this a little more. I think that is just the surface.
I just want you to know you've got the right attitude in recognizing that there is more going on than just leaving the addict. I think we get that whole if they would only stop doing "fill in the blank" things would be better. Well if they stop and then things don't get better I think it's the same when it comes to relationships .. if I leave it's going to get better and the reality is that's the tip of bigger issues below the proverbial iceberg. For me I have traded one haircut for another one. This time the only haircut change will be mine!!
For me, I'm addicted to mood altering men .. and I am really paying attention to myself and what is going on around me. When I have to deal with my addict I really try to keep it short and simple. I pay attention to HHALT for me that is (Hormonal, Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired) anything that means I'm out of wack emotionally, physically or spiritually even.
Keep coming back,
Hugs P :)
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Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole woman.- Maya Angelo
(((((Chaya))))) give yourself more time and more input from the fellowship in face to face meetings. Keep and open mind and listen listen listen to the shares. Bring up the topic in a meeting and as for feedback on it and the do that open minded thing again. New behaviors, believes and awarenesses always take time to come to new understandings and choices of how I want my life to go.
