The material presented
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im starting to think back as a child growing up in a alcoholic home,and how he my father being the a effected me and why its still pretty much the same way today of how i feel toward the a,i would push my dad the a then away from me and how i hated him for what he done to our family and how my mom would have us kids get behind her when they argued which was 24/7 i can remember feeling sorry for my dad then when i was just 6 or 5 y/o thinking he had nobody on his side ,my mom had us behind her but as i grew older i understood alot more of his drinking and how it effected my dear sweet mom which she was and still is she was soo codependent bless her ,but still today i have really hard times haveing conpassion toward an a i get to thinking and still do that they are aliens and have no feelings or anything ,that everything about them is a lie ,i know they arent or i guess i do but wished i could know where i need to turn to work more on this problem i have with them i know its their desease and they r sick as i am too,but this has been a lifelong thing for me and yes ive kept the pattern going with ending with a a everytime,guess my?is that what kind of ppl are they and ive just recently learned that they are just human like i am drunk or not and they do have feelings and they are who they are drunk or not,i also know ive taken on some of their ways i have stinkin thinkin too and my stinking thinking has been going on for a while here lately toward my ex a ,seems he gets by easy without haveing any responsibilities to worry about how do i find compassion for them??? how,i choose to keep my distance from them today cause of my hatred,my ex a says im mean,im prolly am mean to him,and most or all a as well i need some esh here i know,i have alot of fear and f.e.a.r. in every sense.thanks for listening to me agin,,,,,silent
Bless your heart== There's an Adult Children of Alcoholics Board on here, too, and they don't have as many people and they'd welcome you. You might not get a response as quickly, but they're there. And some people use both boards, because the focus is slightly different on each. Every time I start obsessing about the A, I try to bring my attention back to myself: what do I want, what can I do for me? You'll get lots of good feedback. Thanks for posting.
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It's easy to be graceful until someone steals your cornbread. --Gray Charles
I guess it is so much easier to find the compassion for the A when it is your child. Having found that compassion over the years has left me wishing that I would have had that for my dad when I was younger. Obviously, alcoholics just don't wake up and say "I think I would like to be an alcoholic" They are born that way. It is not a choice. It is, however, a choice to get into recovery. Some never do as their sickness is just too much for them to handle. I would just say to find some literature that includes finding compassion for the Alcoholic in your life.
Thank you for your honesty. This porgram is a true process and we do not develop compassion, gentleness and understanding for ourselves or the alcoholic overnight.
Attending meetings, reading alanon daily readers each day, , Living One Day at a Time and working the Steps enabled me to finally let go of the anger and resentment and feel true compassion and understaning for the alcoholics in my family.
They are still able to stir up my old reactions, however I use my tools, pray, put principles above their personalities and respond with compassion and not anger thanks fo this program.
