My A has been diagnosed with severe ADHD, GAD and depression. Which came first, the mental illness or the alcoholism? We'll never know. The doctor has prescribed meds that can't be abused (they are somehow time released into the system and you can't speed that up by crushing the pills or taking more than one), so the doc understands we don't want to work on one problem and create another. The doctor was very clear with him that he still is, and will always be an A, and that he must continue with his therapy and AA. It's medicine, not magic (love that expression).

The meds seem to be helping his mood and temperment. It was a sad moment when he first start taking the meds and came to me and said "is this what it feels like to feel calm and not anxious?". Sad to think that for 36 years my husband has never understood what it means to feel at ease.  It helps me understand that we can't ever fully understand what our A's live with every day, this DOES NOT excuse their bad behavior but it is eye opening to realize that for many of them they simply never feel 'right' and the alcohol is their efforts to calm their own minds.

In addition to his therapy we are going to couples therapy. I am not hopeful as I feel that mindset right now is dangerous for me, but I am trying and keeping an open mind. The meds have helped tremendously, he is not negative 24/7 now, seems happier, less critical and he tells me his urge to drink, while it hasn't gone away completely, is much less now that the anxiety is somewhat in check. Anyway, just wanted to give an update. I continue to work on me. One day at a time. Prayers to everyone.